September 1, 2004
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When ever someone gets fired on my job over the simple reason that the
company does not have enough revenue to support the number of workers
that they have a very large part of me wants to stand up and say “Oh if
you don’t have enough money to pay everyone, that’s ok you can let me
go!”But I don’t do that and I didn’t do that today. Even though I know very
well that everyone whose job was lost needed the money a good deal more
than me. Not that I’m rich or anything. I’m in debt just like everyone
else. The difference is that I have less obligations. This means that I
would have considerably more freedom to use to seek out a new means of
employment. I wouldn’t be particularly upset because at the moment I
don’t have a lot of people depending on me. I could afford to take a
two or three month vacation from work. No sweat. In fact I’d really
enjoy it and I’d likely spend that time increasing my knowledge and
ability becoming even more capable at whatever job I come back
into. Or very likely I wouldn’t go back to the job world. I’d
simply go back to school as I am so often saying that I intend to do
and start learning the things that matter to me. Others however may be
concerned about things like food and clothing and the happiness of
dependents. The fact that I wouldn’t be able to afford to continue my
FFXI subscription just doesn’t compare.Even knowing all this, I did not just volunteer to leave. Why
not? Perhaps I am not yet at that level of altruism. Perhaps I still
embrace my greed and want of things to strongly and have not yet
learned of the importance of simply letting go.Or perhaps htere is a bit of reason in my decision. Consider. The
corporate environment is one in which decisions are made based on a
simple cruel logic. If money needs to be saved by cutting costs.
The costs will be cut. If a person is deemed unnecessary for whatever
reason, people will get behind the decision, they will start to believe
even beyond the truth of it. This means, that there is, I think,
a greater than average chance that had I simply said goodbye to my job
they’d have said “Bye.” back and changed nothing of thier decision.
It’s not like I can negotiate with them or make demands. They’d
probably just hire someone else. I could be more sure if I knew
exactly what computations were involved in the decision. How much money
would be saved by dropping one purpose or dropping another and what the
real reasons are for certain firing decisions.Because in truth I think a lot of it has less to do with money than the
corporate leadership would have you believe. Often I suspect people are
let go to serve as an example to others, as a sick means of motivation.
Similarly there is a matter of fairness involved. Each department must
suffer cuts regardless of the relative merits of the departments.
Similarly there is probably a large degree of favoritism involved
though in the best of companies we can hope not.And then of course there is always that whole responsibility tagging
thing. I have little doubt that in the end someone gave one or more of
the people on my job a single directive along the lines of this: “One
of the following people must be cut. Who do you think it should
be?” Maybe they sugar coated it in some way or another, but that
is almost certainly the end result. This is again the whole CYA
attitude in action. IF I have someone else make the decision, then I
have someone to blame should it go wrong. IF a group of people
make the decision than the blame can be spread amongst the group. These
are the only two resolution systems compatible with CYA. True
initiative is not in the equation. Now don’t get me wrong.
There is absolutely nothing I would like less than to be involved in
any part of this decision making process. I really think it is one of
the worst things you can ask someone to do. To be the sole determinant
of the fate of others and to have your own fate depend upon the nature
of your decisions.So it would be if I said “I quit.” today whether I did it in rage or
sympathy. Upon someone’s head would the blame fall (I know not, but I
can guess who) and upon all of my coworkers would the hard work of
making up for my absence fall. I’d probably be doing no one any
favors leaving all of a sudden out of the blue because I feel like
it. Far better for everyone would be if in the future I gave
people fair notice so that they can plan accordingly to take up my work
and ask me any questions about what it is that I do and how to do it.
Better for everyone that is, except the persons who are losing their
jobs right now.Are all of these thoughts just my own way of justifying my greed and
lack of courage? What I really wish is that they had given us a
real test. I would have liked it if they had simply brought us together
and said: ” Look we are having real issues and we’ve got to cut back.
We need to let go one of you with a salary between XXXXX
and YYYYYY. Anyone who would like to volunteer to be let go raise
your hands.” That would be the test. I’d like to
believe that my hand would be the first one up. I’d like to believe
that I would not hesitate. I could even see myself continuing to work
on a volunteer capacity until they had enough money to hire me back or
until I found another job. Not because I love my job. Certainly not.
But because it would be a good and kind thing to do and I’d learn
something while doing it. Of course they wouldn’t agree it.
They need something to hold over you and there’s all kinds of potential
legal issues involved. But I’d like to try anyway. And if not I’d still
do my best to make sure everyone is as a ready to deal with my
inevitable disappearence as possible.That’s what I think I’d do. That’s what I want to believe I’d do. But
would I really? Is there any way to know for sure? The
scenario I explained is so unlikely as to never come up in the real
world. And chances are good that the circumstances of my actual
departure will either be entirely according with my well scheduled
plan, or under circumstances filled with bitterness and rage of such
that I would care not in the least about what happens to any of those
who remain. My interest would likely then be in forgetting that I had
ever been there.I still do not comprehend a world where merit counts second to dollars
and compassion lies so far down the list of priorities as to be
invisible.