July 13, 2007
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here’s what I’m thinking I should do
I’m thinking I should do this.
On Monday morning I walk into my bosses office and tell him that I am giving him my two weeks. Just like that.
I imagine I’ll get a lot of questions from him, from others on my job, from my family, from my friends.
They’ll ask:
“Did you get a better job? Where will you be working next?”
I’ll say, “Nope. No other job offers. I’ve got no plans to work anywhere next.”
“Then what will you be doing?”
“Beat’s me.”
“Are you going back to school, looking to become self employed?”
“Maybe. Maybe. Who knows?”
“So why now then?”
“Because today I had the courage. I can’t say I would have yesterday or will tomorrow.”
“What if you can’t find another job? How will you pay your rent, how will you afford to eat?”
“No clue. But it’s better to face hardships now while I can than later when I might not be able to. Besides, there’s something to be said for just trusting oneself.”
“Did you not like it where you were? Is there something they did wrong?”
“Not really. Everything was fine really. I actually was as happy there now as I ever was in the past. But I was never happy. And everyone who knows me has known that I wasn’t happy and what’s the point of that? I don’t like programming. It isn’t work that seems worth doing to me. 99.9999% of programming work should be done by machines. Will be done by machines in the future. So why continue to do it? I can honestly say that I am quite as content as you can be where I am when you are unhappy and bored out of your mind. That’s no way to live.”
“Are you crazy?”
“I’ve never felt more sane really.”
“Then why not quit right now? Why keep going for two weeks? Aren’t you breaking the rules a little?”
“Well, I thought that was the polite thing to do is all. I’ll stay for three or four weeks if they need me to as well. I’ve got nowhere to go, but at the end of that predetermined time, I’m out of there and I’m not looking back. If they don’t need me to stay well then sure I’ll leave tomorrow. Yeah I know most people have plans when they quit a job, some sort of career opportunity or another or an intention to go back to school or something unless they are quiting in anger. But why should I be like everybody else? I’m not angry at all. And I have no plans and that’s just the way it is.”
“Have you even been looking for another job? Where will you look?”
“Nope. Never even put my resume anywhere. Never once did I even try. I haven’t even looked at my resume in years. I don’t even know if I will yet. Maybe I’ll hitchhike across the country or something first. Who knows. Who cares. Maybe I will take classes somewhere, become an undergraduate again or something. I could do anything. That’s the point. Anything.”
“So ok, but if and when you do start to look for another job what will you tell the people you interview with? How will you explain why you aren’t working? How will you not come off as a fickle and unreliable person who is a risky hire?”
“I will tell them the truth. If they don’t want to hire me as a result good for them for knowing what they want out of an employee. Any place that I would want to work for would be a place that won’t use such an absurd criteria for picking its employees though.”
“Don’t you have other responsibilities? Isn’t it important and responsible to keep getting a paycheck and keep getting insurance and dangerous to live otherwise?”
“Yes it is. But I figure if I am going to do this, better to do it now while my responsibilities are small and manageable. If I wait until I am older who knows how large and how deep my responsibilities will be?”
“This is a really crazy and reckless thing to do!”
“Yep. So what? Everyone deserves their moment of reckless abandon. And if I don’t do it, I’ll never know what would have happened had I chosen to do it.”
I’m about a hair’s breath from actually doing the above on Monday, but I haven’t yet decided. I might go to sleep tonight and by tomorrow have totally abandoned the idea as crazy day dreaming. Or I may find my convictions solidified. I just don’t know. But right now at this moment as I write this it just seems like a great idea to me. Best idea I’ve had in ages. Really it feels like a return to the way I used to think many years ago back when I thought more, cared more, and worried less. I liked that me a lot better than I like the one I am now.
