July 21, 2007
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reactions
I did exactly as I said and the reactions were exactly as I anticipated except for one little thing.
Someone said “you must be independently wealthy”
Someone said “I guess we know who the rich one is amongst us.”So strange. A joke. It made me laugh at first. Surely all available evidence is to the contrary!
But it was a strange joke, one with something behind it too. The
idea, the implication being that it is impossible to simply… leave.
No one could do such a thing unless they are crazy, stupid, or well,
rich. There is confusion behind their words, confusion in their eyes
too and wonder too. They have questions. And surprisingly the question
they want answered even more than the questions of “Why?” and the
question of “Why now?” is the question of “How?” I didn’t expect that. I thought the whys would dominate. But no, they want me to
explain it them. How is it possible? That’s what they want to know.The truth to the “how” isn’t anything impressive. I am far far from
wealthy, have never been wealthy or even reasonably well to do. I have
some savings but not enough to last too long unless I dig into
retirement accounts. Other than that I intend to rely a great deal on
the fact we live in a crazy insane culture that makes credit almost
trivially easy to obtain. I’m am sure it is quite possible to live for
almost a year, satisfying your basic needs except for housing costs
using just credit. I won’t have to do that, but it is very possible to do that. You can even satisfy a lot of your housing costs too
but it is more dangerous to do so. Of course the longer you rely on it,
the more dangerous it is in general, but I think it is altogether
rather a cool system. I have a newfound respect for the credit card
industry and the other credit providers be it college loans or housing
loans. They give people opportunities they would otherwise lack, makes
it easier to take risks, even if they make out like bandits the more
you fail at those risks. It is good that it is possible and even pretty
easy to do so, something you can’t do in a lot of other countries in
the world.My strong suspicion is that most people I encounter have a lot more
money than I, if they don’t then I have no idea what they are spending
their money on because I seem to waste money with a recklessness that
often scares me probably a counter reaction because I grew up in a
family where the need to save always on our minds. Still, the fact is I
don’t (didn’t) make that much money now. Not much at all comparatively.
I do spend a lot of effort shopping for deals, more than most, but
that’s more of a game than a means of increasing my fortune. The truth
is all the effort hasn’t saved me very much at all in the grand scheme
of things.No, if I’ve saved more than most, and I really doubt I have, but if I did than I wonder if it means I have lesser wants than most people, no desire for expensive clothing or expensive meals or to attend expensive events. I did buy a car that was far too expensive than any sane person would with my salary, but then if there is any truth to tco, than I believe it was ultimately a bargain. At least I keep telling myself that. I do waste all kinds of money on random technological gadgets, computer hardware and the likes, but technology is cheap and ever getting cheaper. Nah, I think if I spent money on expensive food and expensive clothes it probably wouldn’t change my savings that much. I can’t see how my amount of savings could be all that unusual.
Truly though the only three things that seem to really kill our fortunes are health care, education, and housing. Housing you just gotta suck it up and be willing to live somewhere less nice than is your want if need be. Education is all about the loans because basically nobody can really afford it. Health care may ultimately prove to be a serious problem, but I choose to by force of will not think about it too closely.
Of course if you have a home or a family or are planning to start one
soon, then weather or not you do have a greater savings than I, I can
certainly understand the fact that you would have a greater desire to
keep that savings “saved” rather than spend it on some risky business
or to use it to survive. I’m not sure that is always in every situation
a good idea, but sometimes it makes sense and certainly it would make
any such decisions a lot harder to make. And believe me, it was
surprisingly difficult to make the decision for me who has no such
immediate plans or obligations.But why do people think that way? Why do people think it so unlikely,
so unusual to quit a job for no reason and with no certainty about what
the future holds? Is it because they would never do it? Were they
trained never to do it? Or are they just so terrified of the unknown
that they would never do it? Or are they being wise and careful and just making the most rational decision? Or are they shackled by responsibilities,
bound by the needs of others? If so, I am sorry about that. It is sad
that society does not create some level of leeway for everyone. Nobody
should feel any fear whatsoever to spend a year taking an irrational
and dangerous risk in order to better themselves. The world would end up with more productive citizens if it allowed for such a thing.It is a common joke in most offices and most other places too, that if
you were to hit the jackpot you would quit tomorrow and go off to do
who knows what. I never joked that way. Whenever I’ve ever heard the
joke I would always wonder, why wait until you hit the jackpot? If you
want to leave. Leave. Let everything else sort itself out later one way
or another. Even horribly unpleasant and difficult experiences can be learning
experiences, can be adventures, if you face them without guilt or doubt
or self-hatred. There’s no cause to be comfortable if being comfortable
means you have to be unhappy.I’ve always thought this way. I’ve always believed it. But I never
acted upon that thought until now. Maybe I was even starting to
convince myself that it wasn’t true. Maybe I was starting to think like
everybody else does. And that, as much as anything, was why I had to
leave.Of course… if the US economy collapses next month then I am so
totally screwed so maybe it isn’t so crazy to want to be rich before
you quit your job. Then again, I doubt having a job will be as much
protection as people think it is should such a thing occur.
