October 4, 2007
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Save Me Plz
Go here and listen to the story Save Me Plz on episode 124 by David Barr Kirtley. It is brilliant. One of the few stories I’ve heard lately that surprised me and made me think about things in a different light.
I think a lot of people seem to see this story as a story about mmorpg obsession and hence about obsession altogether. That is that it is a kind of warning against becoming too intensely interested in something and how it can twist you are a result into evil behaviors even in the name of good.
Yeah, I guess it’s a little about that, but it seems to be much more about Meg’s decisions and choices than it is Devon’s. Meg’s continual repeated choices to try and save Devon and then to trust in Devon’s ability to change the world for the better.
The first decisions is totally understandable, to go on a quest to save someone you once cared about is entirely natural for anyone. The second decision is passing strange. Meg chooses to help Devon become a virtual god of the entire world? Why?
Isn’t it interesting that when we hear Meg’s thought processes two things convince her to agree to Devon’s proposal on top of her feelings for him. One is her own vanity. She sees her old self and the thought of being less attractive repulses her. The second is a strange kind of reasoning where she fears to doubt her previous selves. She thinks that if all those other hers had decided that this was best and that it was good then who was she to doubt them?
Both of these reasoning processes require her to think about previous incarnations of herself after she’s already gone through the loop at least once and after she has been changed through the want at least a little. So in a way the sad thing is we don’t really see what made her choose to repeat the quest the first time. Why would she? Did Devon immediately use the very first want to change Meg’s appearance for the better? If so then Devon proves himself to be even more of a disturbingly manipulative character than I thought.
Devon is basically just a kind of an asshole of a character throughout the story really. This is understandable because the story wouldn’t really work otherwise. Still, I think it is meant to be a little ambiguous. That is, he isn’t acting out of evil, just utter selfishness. He wants to create a world that is exactly like the one he would most enjoy, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, and he is willing to use someone repeatedly to achieve this ends. I find nothing admirable or even understandable about this character. He’s just a jerk to me, but a fascinating jerk to read about.
Meg in contrast is easy to identify with. She’s meant to seem normal. So why did she choose to continuously let herself become closer and closer to being Lena the elf queen? Why? Was her vanity that strong? Or maybe this is a story of obsession after all but not obsession over mmorpgs, but Meg’s obsession with Devon that leads her to be willing to give up her very self identity for him. That to me is what makes the story so sad and disturbing.
