October 11, 2007

• What makes you happy when you are sad?

  Fixing the problem or resolving whatever conflict that is causing the problem is the only thing that can make me happy when I am sad. Everything else is just a distraction.

  There are all kinds of distractions I engage in that make me feel immediate pleasure and gratification when I am sad and that shouldn’t be knocked. Good food and joyous experiences have a value all to themselves whether you are sad or not. Gaming. Reading. Television. Music. Movies. Conversation. Writing. All these and more I do to get just a sense of pleasure when I am feeling a little down for whatever reason.

  The thing is, once I finish doing any one of these things the sadness just comes right back unchanged. Fun stuff doesn’t necessarily solve most problems, it just keeps us from thinking about those problems until a later date.

  Sometimes that’s exaclty what I need though. A distraction. By stepping back for a while and doing something else I can refocus my attention and look at the problem more objectively and distantly. My mind is able to work without being fully wrapped up in nothing but the sadness and sorrow. That is often just the ticket for figuring out exactly how to reach a real and lasting resolution.

  Actually resolving the conflict doesnt necessarily make me happy either. But it opens the door for happiness. Once the cloud of sadness hanging over me is dissipated, I can finally start to feel the warm light of the sun. Now pleasant activities become more than just base gratification distracting me from deeper issues. They become the building blocks of real and lasting happiness.

  I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

  • 8:49 am
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