December 18, 2007
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Fear of each other
One thing I’ve always hated is when someone refuses to answer the door when a stranger knocks. And yet lots of people do it. And many will argue that it is even the most rational thing to do. They think that you are crazy if you answer the door for a stranger. The risk is too great.
And yet, I will always answer the door if I am able. I would even leave my door unlocked sometimes or even wide open if the weather is good. It’s neither because I am stupid or fearless. Rather, I simple do not believe in the presumption that my fellow human beings are inherently evil. I don’t think we should be so very afraid of *everyone* that we don’t give people the time of day or treat them with even cordial politeness. I think that when we are afraid like that, we create the very scenario that we are trying to avoid. Criminals thrive in an environment where everyone is afraid of everyone else and keeps to themselves and nobody helps anybody. That’s how they are able to get away with so much.
For example someone knocking on your door might be in trouble and in desperate need of help. Since you don’t answer and ignore them and pretend to not be home, you never find out about their trouble and you can’t really help them. So that person becomes a prime target for those who prey upon the weak and the vulnerable. Because all the Good people are too afraid to help one another, the bad people win. It’s as simple as that.
Ironically the internet is pretty different. If anything it sort of seems to be the opposite. Or at least it used to be. People were obsessively non-careful. I mean revealing all kinds of info about themselves as if nobody online would ever dare hurt them. It was really stupid of course and it’s a good thing its changing. But there are a lot of vestiges of that old openness attitude and its that which makes the internet still attractive to me. People really care about community interaction here in the ether world. And people are willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.
But sometimes the dedication to community goes a little too far, I think. For example, there was a recent discussion on a blog about whether people should use xanga “friend-lock”. This simple privacy mechanism causes no harm and basically just lets someone protect themselves. It’s sort of equivalent to locking your online “door”. But in order to use it, you have to partially opt out of a part of the community interaction. And it’s sort of surprising to me, but people seem to come down pretty strongly against that kind of a thing in the online world. There seems to be a lot of people who demand that people commit as much to the community as they themselves are willing to commit.
Now I do think the online community grows and thrives the more open its members are, and if I had my wish nobody would ever use xanga-lock or friend-lock or protected lists or blocking users at all. But at the same time I can’t imagine ever getting upset at someone for not engaging in the community in the same way that I do. Just like although I would love to keep my doors unlocked at my home, I’d certainly not blame anyone for locking theirs. People absolutely do have a right to protect themselves. And I expect people to make the best decisions that they can in order to do that.
I just personally want to be a person who has the courage to not always take the safest course. I want to choose sometimes not to protect myself. And I hope that enough people will follow suit so that we can all make the world a slightly better place.
