March 27, 2008
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already
Already a ten hour work day plus 1.5 hours of commute time. Plus I got there 40 minutes early on top of that jus cuz it was the first day.
Already I listened to inane conversations where people spout nonsense they know nothing about just to have something to say or assert ridiculous holier-than-thou proclimations that make me want to gag. Like the person who declares that drinking soda is disgusting and horrible and how he never does it and can’t understand the people who drink soda every day. But then he proceeds to drink a beer and light a cigarette during his lunch break. Or the argument about whether population growth has increased or is tapering off in the US. Why not just look it up?
And yet they all seem like nice enough people. I had no real problems with them. I’d get along just fine with them though inside the conversations are boring me to death. It’s not their fault. They’re just following the social norms,
But me? I just have nothing to say during water cooler conversations. Nothing. I just don’t care.
If only it were just that…
Already I hear tell of internal conflicts. Clear, distinctive personality conflicts between one group of people and another. It includes some or more people being unjustly “rude” to one or more other people because of a perceived lack of adequate performance. No details were given. But I got the gist. I’ve been here before….
Already I overhear tell of an eternal conflict, where the question of “blame” takes center stage. Is it our fault? Is it their fault? We have to prove it isn’t our fault! It’s paramount.
I’ve been here before too…
I have a feeling that before long I’ll be giving my little speech again:
“I don’t care whether it is something you did or something we did. I don’t care about getting to the bottom of whose fault it is. I don’t care who should be held responsible. Mistakes happen. Things go wrong. All that matters to me is that it is wrong and I intend to fix it. That’s what they are paying me to do.”
But everybody will look at me like I’m crazy. As usual.
It wasn’t exactly a bad day. It was just…. all too close to what I had expected it to be. Or did I just go in there looking for things to be wrong? And of course I found them.
I don’t get the terribly bad feeling I got at the last place, but I don’t feel good about it either. I have a little bit of bad feeling. More like a suspicion. It’s a suspicion that the only difference between here and there is that the people here are a heck of a lot smarter and better educated. But intelligence aint all its cracked up to be. I’ll like learning from them, but I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing I’ll like.
Man I never suspected I would really have such doubts about this place so soon. After three or four days, maybe, but on the first day? I would have never guessed it. Never. That makes me think that maybe it’s just going to be like that everywhere. And so there’s no point at all in trying somewhere else.
It isn’t the place, it’s me. I am incapable of leading this kind of a life and being happy with it.
Comments (15)
What would you change it to then?
Hmm… *hugs* Are you sure it’s you? I get “feelings” too about some places I’ve worked…. and I agree: what would you change?
Drink!
@Vitamin_D -
@rianahntr -
As for changing it, I wish I knew what to change it to or how to go about doing that…
I’m not sure if it’s me, but most people I think would accept the conflicts and rumors I’ve encountered as run of the mill. I think it affects me more than it does others.
@qccan -
I don’t drink (or rather very very very rarely). But maybe it’s time I started…
Darn straight! :pouring:: cheers!
Hello Nephyo,
You worked hard to make your site simple yet elegant. I see that you have a wide variety of observations here!
I want to help people to really get to know know God and His plans for us, especially in these troubled times. ”For God carefully watches the way that people live; he sees everything they do. No darkness is thick enough to hide the wicked from his eyes. For it is not up to mortals to decide when to come before God in judgment. He will openly strike them down for their wickedness. For they turned aside from following him. They have no respect for any of his ways.” (Job 34:21-23) (NLT)
I like to write articles about God and religion on my site. I hope you get a chance to look at them.
hey, i enjoyed the comments you posted on Leonidas earlier ( 3/30/2008 6:23 AM).
u r a student? math?
well-read you seem.
hey, i received a comment almost exactly like the one above by Bible_Wisdom.
@Bible_Wisdom - Hi. Thanks for your praise. But I’m not really that interested in that sort of a thing. If there is a God, I can’t see how important it is for people to know him, believe in him, or his plan. Rather, I think it is important that people follow moral principles and seek a good and happy life no matter from whence those principles derive. But if sharing the word of God helps people to be better and happier people, by all means continue and I hope that they find joy in your site.
But please don’t leave “form” comments like this on my site again. You are welcome to comment but please try to make your comment unique and preferably relevant..
@WindOnReed2 - hey.I’m glad you liked my comment! I’m not a student right now. I was once a math major and cs concentrator far too long ago. I also studied far more philosophy than anyone ever should. The partial interest in politics is something I developed in more recent days.
Be warned…. I don’t often write about politics or social or econmic theory on this site though I am interested in those topics. Sometimes, I do, but not often.
Dear Nephyo,
I see you put a lot of thought into your site. It’s clear you like to write a lot!
Spam is a problem worldwide. I hope you will join us in ending cut-and-paste comments. I like to write about Xanga on my site. John 3:16.
P.S. I don’t think that editing a post will push it to the top of someone’s list of subscriptions. When you first expressed this concern, I wasn’t sure myself. But since then someone I’m subscribed to edited her post, and I only found out by accident. It didn’t appear again on my private page or anything. So edit away!
This was a very fluid and well-written read! I enjoy and can appreciate the way that you think…”Already I listened to inane conversations where people spout nonsense they know nothing about just to have something to say or assert ridiculous holier-than-thou proclimations that make me want to gag.”…Years ago, I had a very good co-worker/friend, after work we hung out at various bars/taverns, unbeknowst to me the majority of his friends were bowlers. No offense to bowling (it is a huge winter past time in Michigan) But, need-less-to-say; The majority of the conversations were ‘much to ado about nothing’! I was considered shy and non-social, hmmmm! if they only knew how fast my mind was working (to myself, quietly). Thanx for the read! Peace and Love
@fullmetalbunny -
Dear fullmetalbunny,
LOL!
Yeah i guess I saw a bunch of my subscriptions have posts they had written move back up to the top of the list after they had edited it so that scared me. But I think they must have checked the update timestamp box when they edited it. Or else it was a bug. Thanks for the info though!
@TheFlowerDoctor - Thanks for the praise! Yeah, I always feel like I’m over flowing with too many thoughts during these conversations and yet the thoughts I have… I don’t think they’d go over too well even if I weren’t so shy and were willing to say them. That’s why I write on a blog where I don’t really have to worry about disrupting the flow of conversation with my odd out of the box proclamations. Getting all those weird looks just gets tiring.
Yep…Soo hot. >-< Even though it’s night time right now. It’s not even June yet.
Welcome back, you