May 22, 2008
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Nice? Say it aint so!
Today for the first time I was indirectly called a “nice guy”. Not as
in “you’re really nice” or “that was a really nice thing you did”.
Rather I was described as falling into that category of people called “nice
guys”.
And… I can’t say the phrase sat well with me. No it didn’t. You see,
I’ve been around reading Xanga blogs for far far too long to be fooled
by this false complement. Roughly about once a month or so I read
another entry about “nice guys” and I’ve gotta tell you… they aren’t
too flattering.
“Nice Guys” I’ve learned you see are cowardly wimpish creatures,
incapable of asserting their feelings, unable to take a stand, and
unwilling to defend or stick up for themselves or others. They’re weak.
They hide behind their kindness and shyness to avoid confrontation or
anything that forces them to grow or evolve as a person. In short, they
are childish, skulking, crybaby pussies lacking anything remotely
resembling a backbone.
And those are the more flattering descriptions.
The worse descriptions describe the “nice guy” as a cruel deceiver who
sits and waits skulking in the background for just the right moment to
strike! And oh how he strikes, wielding his kindness like a katana, he
slices through the defenses of his victims, exposing their vulnerable
souls, destroying their relationships, crushing their chance at
happiness. He sweeps through like a hurricane leaving a trail of
trampled hearts and crushed dreams in his wake laughing maniacally all
the while. MwaHAHAHAHAHA!
::shudder::
I hope that nobody ever ever thinks of me like that!
Now I’ve never had the temerity to ever call myself a “nice guy” even
before joining Xanga. But having read Xanga I now wouldn’t touch that
term with a ten foot pole! Nice? Me? No Way! I don’t want to ever be a
“nice guy”. Let me be the bad guy! The mean guy! Let me be cruel and harsh! Let me be the epitome of evil! Hey
I’ll prove it! Anybody got any kittens I can strangle? Are there any
babies with candy around I can steal from? I tried picking fights on
Xanga so I could bring out my meaner side just a few days ago in fact.
True… nobody bit, but doesn’t my even bating people like that make me
truly a despicable person worthy of your scorn? No? Oh come on! What’s
a guy gotta do?
I’ll try harder. I promise! I’ll flame! I’ll attack! I’ll insult! I’ll
bully even! But please oh please don’t put me in that most hated of all
Xangan group! Yes I said *most* hated. In my observation, nice guys are
more reviled than Xangan Idol contestants, MySpace users, and that guy, whoever he is,
who writes TheTheologiansCafe all put together. People cut spammers and stalkers more slack than they cut the nice guy!
So call me cowardly, childish, wimpy, lame, dirty, cruel, weak,
disorganized, overly emotional, arrogant, dumb, inconsiderate,
intolerant, over indulgent, spoiled, disgusting, untrustworthy, lazy,
irresponsible, or vile. But for the LOVE OF GOD and all that is GOOD do *NOT* call me a “Nice Guy”! That’s just wrong.
Comments (11)
Aw, I think you’re cool.
Better? =:)
This post reminds me of that line in “Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind” when Joel says he thinks Clementine is nice.
“What, so now I’m nice?! Is that the only adjective you know? I don’t need nice. I don’t need to be it and I don’t need anyone to be it at me.”
It’s true though. Everyone loves a cut-throat bitch (or bastard). This explains why so many girls want to date me. I’m not nice. At all. Yet there’s always someone fawning and saying “I’ve never met anyone like you before!” or “I CAN MAKE YOU LOVE ME!!!”
Usually my bitchy-ness is how I show affection (for example, I often greet my best friends with “Hey skank!” and insinuate they have an STD when in public.) But if you get on my bad side the venom flows. I should get a t-shirt that says “I make girls cry.” Yet they always come back for more.
I can not explain why this is true. My brother has nice guy syndrome as well. He always ends up the boyfriend-without-benefits (all the bitch work and none of the lovin’). I tried to teach him to be more of an ass, but alas, some things can not be taught.
you forgot fiendish!
@fullmetalbunny - gotta admit “cool” is better than “nice”. Thanks! So how long till I earn my way up to awesome, amazing, astounding, incredible, godlike, or perfect? Those sounds more like me!
@VaultESL - Duly noted!
@qccan - awww, thank you so much! you’re so sweet!
lol @ sweet is that like ‘she has a nice personality?’ hehehe
@elvesdoitbetter - Hey! Wow! I’ve never met anyone like you before! haha! Just joking.
Some people seem better able to pull off the un-insulting insult than others. I’ve known guys who can walk up to someone, even a stranger and be like “Hey, how’s it going ya dumbass?” But I’m pretty damn sure if I tried that I’d get the crap beat out of me.
some things can’t be taught huh? Are you saying there is no hope for me? Is it my fate to me consigned to the nice guy, over-trodden, scum of the earth status? ::sigh::
Oh by the way I thought Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was an absolutely beautiful movie and I loved it.
Wait, that’s what a nice guy would say isn’t it?
That sappy movie sucked ass! Don’t bring up that crap on my blog again!
@nephyo - not so much that you’re hopeless, but that nice people generally don’t truly feel like it’s OK to be mean. You want to be mean for the benefits it would afford you, but actually being mean is not something that will ever feel comfortable.
If you can’t make yourself be mean, then try being cocky. It works just as well. Just take everything from the stance of “I am so fucking awesome. You must feel so honored that I allow you in my presence.” I don’t know why people love this. It annoys the hell out of me when other people have that attitude, but people dig my faux-cockiness.
I think the whole trick is you have to be mean (or cocky) and funny. You can’t just be the former or people will just think you’re a duche (and not in the sexy, bad boy kind of way). Personally, I think conversation should be entertaining. I don’t just speak for the sake of speaking or to make people feel comfortable. I say things with the point of being entertaining (or at least interesting). Actually, I bet you could even skip the asshole routine if you were funny.
@elvesdoitbetter - yup. hopeless…
@nephyo - kind of funny that we have this conversation now when I was planning on writing a post titled “How to not be an asshole” today. Damn my ironic timing!
Nice is only a label after all…
I’ve read a few of the posts about “nice guys” and such, especially by the one by John (the xanga creator)! But I don’t think you should let a stereotype get to you like that, ya know? :] Just be yourself!