June 14, 2008
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the king of absentmindedness
I have many foibles. I won’t mention them all here because in my experience people give you really odd looks if you say more than one thing bad about yourself in any given conversation. But of all my many foibles my very favorite is that I am probably most likely the most absentminded person of my age group on the planet. I’ve yet to meet anyone who can come close to matching me.
Why do I say this is my favorite foible? Why because it makes for such interesting and funny stories! Well maybe not funny to anyone else but they amuse me to death in a dark and twisted way. Being absentminded is fun. Really it is.
Let me tell you about a single evening in the life of abensetmindedness king and maybe you’ll see why I like it so much. This is a true story.
One day I decided to go out one evening and get fast food. So I jumped in my trusty Suoh (I just renamed my car that) and drove on down to McDonalds. Well first I had to stop and get gas cuz I forgot to do that earlier but that’s no biggie. I make it to McDonalds all in one piece.
So far so good. I ordered a meal, they made me wait. Eventually I got my food drove all the way home, up the stairs to my apartment, sat down, ate my food and then I think…
Man I thirsty.
I’m really really thirsty.
Wait a minute, why am I so thirsty? I ordered a value meal. Damn it! They forgot my drink!
grrr.
Well I’m not about to go all the way back to get the soda now. So I check the trusty fridge to see what there is to drink.
And I find… Orange Juice… only it’s expired. I forgot to drink it. And then I look further and find…. Milk. Guess what?
Hmm… Water maybe? I look in the fridge, my water filter pitcher isn’t there. Oh yeah there it is the sink I was going to wash it. I guess I forgot. I look in the freezer. No ice. I guess I forgot to make any. Luke warm non-filtered water today? Nah.
Suoh! Come! I have another mission for us!
And we’re off to the supermarket. Now I thought this was a damnably brilliant idea. Cuz not only could I get something to drink and alleviate my thirst right now but I could stock up on non-expired liquids and maybe even buy some *actual* food so I don’t have to get fast food in the future. It’s a win win win situation! Am I wrong? Thank god super markets are open 24 hours.
I drive all the way down, grab a cart, fill it with junk go to the check out aisle…
“That’ll be <insert some price here> ” says the cashier.
I confidently reach for my wallet…
“Umm… Uhhh… Shit!”
Of course I forgot my wallet. Sigh. No I don’t have any other means to pay on me whatsoever.
I drive all the way back home cursing Suoh for not reminding me to grab my wallet. No it’s not Suoh’s fault, but he can take it.
I get out the car walk all the way up the stairs to my apartment and…
Where’s my wallet?
I spend like twenty minutes tearing through my apartment looking for my wallet. No luck.
Finally I go back downstairs and lo and behold… of course! There it is right in my car. Right where I put it when I took it out to pay for the McDonalds. It was there the entire time. I just forgot.
Sigh.
Back to the supermarket. Bought the food. No further mishaps. It’d be funny if I got home and had bought the food but forgot to buy something to drink wouldn’t it? Haha. But no… that didn’t happen this time. Could have though. I wouldn’t have been surprised.
In retrospect I could have drank some tea but I forgot I had any!
And that’s the story. It took me like two hours altogether. Just to get a meal. I really wasn’t that upset though. I’m used to it. It’s just the way I am. And like I said it makes for interesting stories.
That night I also sat down to read my manga but I left it in the car of course and had to go down to get it. But eh. That’s just a normal occurrence and doesn’t really add to the story. By now you should get the idea. I’m really really absentminded.
On the plus side during that whole endeavor I was also lost in thought and managed to completely compose in my head an essay on the nature of anti-emotional bias that will one day become a blog entry here, provided I can remember to write it!
Anyway, hope you all are doing well.
Happy Weekend everyone!
Comments (8)
Man, I wish my interesting stories just came from forgetting things a lot instead of near death experiences.
I sort of feel the way Harry Potter must feel by book seven - “Jesus, does it ever fucking end?!”
Goodness – if that had been me I would have returned home after all that malarkey to find the McDonald’s drink patiently waiting for me on the table … [I'm guessing that you're not in my age group, because the title of Most Absent-Minded belongs to me, really, although I suppose I could be the Queen to your King
]
Go with water. I’ll be your conscience on this one.
Hahahaha, I don’t forget stuff, I just have these mini-conversations with myself:
“I should, like, do that thing.
“Nah. Later.
“It’s later now.
“Yeah, but it could be later still. I’ll do it then.”
And so forth. Me, I would’ve drunk the lukewarm water.
@elvesdoitbetter - lol. Luckily no near death experiences for me yet just some where I wished I were dead.
Hopefully you’ll end up with as happy an ending as Potter. That lucky bastard.
@Katiefinger - No way! There can be only one sovereign! We’ll have to exchange stories some time and settle this somehow.
@Amandasbiggestfan - good advice. I’ll remember you next time something like this happens.
@fullmetalbunny - oh I don’t have “mini” conversations with myself. Me and myself have quite long drawn out debates. And it aint in my head either. I vocalize all of myselfs. There’s about four of us up in this here brain of mine. But we’re all equally absentminded and none of us are too fond of luke warm water.
This is amusing… And I also read your comment on FMB’s post….O I will stalk you…as a freind =^.^= and I will comment random things that may of may not be related to your posts…. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
=P
And GOOD JOB! you actually beat me on forgetfullness… I once got grounded for a month becuase I forgot to hang up some laundry in a washing machine…But hey it’ not my fault;I just…Forgot.
@zunky - sweet! Do that and I will be grateful to you til the end of time!
@nephyo - muhahahaha! I’ll try to get on the compy to check up on you everyday…but i don’t know,i may get hindered and not be able to check up for like…a WEEK! T_T
and if i were to die in a car accident or something…well yeah,forget the whole stalking thing… =P