July 19, 2008

• Journal: Thank God For Xanga…

  For without thee I would be so very very bored…
  

  
  

  Today is Saturday. Journal day. And since I missed writing a Journal
  last saturday you get two weeks worth of my life for the price of one!
  Be honored.  This won’t happen often.
  

  
  

  Honestly though my life isn’t all that interesting so I can’t imagine
  why any of you will be reading this. And I don’t have a clue how to
  make this at all entertaining. But some of you will read it anyway.
  You’re just crazy like that. Still for the rest of you I’ll use my new
  favorite tool the cut-tag to prevent you from being bored out of your
  minds. You should really thank me.  Feel free to shower me with
  gratitude in the form of gold bars, crude oil reserves, or small
  nations for me to rule.
  

  
  

  Oh and let me know if you don’t like cut-tags. If it bothers anyone, I’ll stop using them.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  So the first week, two weeks passed, was an interesting week.  Pretty eventful all things
  considered. And that’s strange because even throughout it all I’ve
  still had this somewhat bored feeling that has been plaguing me for
  awhile now.  It’s so strange to have a million things happening and
  still feel bored. I really need to learn to accept things the way they
  are. But I don’t. I want to make them different.
  

  
  

  But I already wrote about that.  This is supposed to be a journal.
  

  
  

  That
  week started with me having an utterly exhausting day and ended with me
  having an utterly exhausting day. Symmetry. Don’t you love it? Only the
  first day was stuff for work and the last day was stuff for sheer fun.
  There’s a word for that too but I’m too lazy and tired to think about
  it. Whatever it is, it’s beautiful.
  

  
  

  Last
  Sunday I finished, more or less, the big part one of the project for
  work. Basically the goal was to rewrite this big website in Perl
  cleaning up all the code using Objects and removing all the
  redundancies and separating the form from the function. Also there were
  a bunch of new features to add related to a new product we are
  offering.
  

  
  

  It’s not really that hard.
  

  
  

  I
  mean it’s *time consuming*. Ridiculously time consuming. It takes
  *forever*.  Well maybe it wouldn’t take forever if I could work on it
  diligently without my mind wandering every fifteen minutes, but even
  then it’d take a long time.  I was reminded as I worked on this that
  I’m just not cut out to be a programmer. I’m just not. All the time I’m
  thinking, this is soooo pointless. I mean it’s important to improve the
  code. It’s good to make it easier to maintain and more efficient and
  cleaner and more secure while preserving the same functionality. But
  the *coding* is pointless. The first week I thought up most of the
  class designs and figured out how I was going to do everything. That
  was fun. That was great! Every single moment spent after that was a
  waste of my damn time. It’s really easy once you have the design. Any
  idiot with a month of programming experience and some instructions
  could do the rest of the translations. It’s routine. A lot of copying
  and pasting and formatting.  But it’s slow. Or at least I’m slow at it.
  I’ve known some programmers who can like churn out code at lightning
  speeds. Like they’re some kind of a machine. I’m not like that at all.
  I’m good at programming. But I’m not fast at it.
  

  
  

  Unfortunately  this task, it’s a little too complicated to write a program to do it
  for you, which would be my initial inclination. I mean you can, but the resulting program would be more
  complicated than the original code base so it’s gotta be done by hand
  using human judgment. But it doesn’t require any kind of genius. Or
  even cleverness. Just thoroughness. I’m actually pretty good at
  thoroughness. So I did a damn good job on what I did. I’m just lazy. I
  don’t like it.
  

  
  

  Not trying to sound like a whiner or complainer here. Though
  undoubtedly I am coming off that way.  I am still grateful for having
  this job. It pays quite well and my boss is nice and it isn’t that
  stressful all things considered.
  

  
  

  I didn’t actually finish
  this project. Late late Saturday night I came up with a good shortcut
  that enabled me to finish a lot of the remaining pages faster. But I
  still need to go back and redo those pages the right way. It just made
  them acceptable for me to submit the project.
  

  
  

  On Monday I went in to work half exhausted and after my boss did his
  morning business I spent several hours getting everything running up on
  the servers (I code on my local box). That wasn’t too bad all things
  considered but it was annoying. Anyway I showed it to my boss and he
  was all praise… too much praise. I started to doubt his sincerity.
  Why am I always like that? But I mean it was *easy*. Why should he
  think I did such an awesome job? I don’t get it. Maybe he just wants to
  make sure I don’t quit. Well that’s still good I guess.
  

  
  

  Then the boss ordered Hawaiian Pizza from this place called Donatos. 
  They don’t have those back home. But man their pizza is delicious. And
  I love Pizza. And I love Hawaiian style pizza.  So overall Monday was a
  good day.
  

  
  

  The boss introduced me to the next project. Another webpage translation
  from Java to Perl because my boss hates Tomcat. This time there’s only
  going to be two weeks to work on it. But it doesn’t look that hard. But
  even *more* boring than the last project. I mean this time I don’t even
  get to design anything. Even the classes have already been built for
  me. I just make Perl classes out of the Java ones. Oh boy oh boy.
  

  
  

  Anyway, Tuesday came along and during the day it was pretty uneventful but evening was cool cuz I was invited by my friends….
  

  
  

  Hmmm…
  

  
  

  OK, I’m going to start a new tradition right now! I don’t want to
  mention people by name without permission and besides that’s no fun
  anyway. So for now on whenever I talk about people in my journals I’m
  going to come up with anime nicknames for them! What’s more I think
  I’ll change the nicknames around every week and hence create mass
  confusion! Mwahahaha! 
  

  
  

  It’ll be cool.
  

  
  
  So anyway, on Tuesday, Sakura-chan, Chiyo-chan, and Shikamoto-kun
  invited me to go with them to go with them to see WALL-E and hang out.
  Well actually I suggested it. But they were on board. Shikamoto-kun is
  Chiyo-chan’s little brother who is visiting for a couple of weeks so
  they were trying to find fun things to do. Also it seemed like Chiyo
  was somewhat stressed and could use the break. Apparently her deadbeat
  relative had wreaked havoc with their finances. I gave her some money
  to help her out because of that too. It’s really a messed up situation.
  May but you should hear her on the phone yelling about it! It’s rather
  amazing and fun to behold. ^_^
  

  
  

  We went out to dinner at Applebees where the waiter screwed up and left
  appetizers we didn’t order on our table. Yes! Free food!  Then
  afterwards we went to see the movie. It was awesome! I absolutely love
  that movie. But then I’m getting a little complacent with Pixar because
  all of their movies are so consistently amazingly good. I almost want
  them to make a bad one so I’d appreciate the next good one all that
  much more.
  

  
  

  Oh while I was there I lent them my Nintendo Wii so that Shikamoto-kun
  won’t be all that bored there especially when the others are at work. I
  don’t really play it that often so it was no big deal. Sakura
  threatened to steal it and keep it for herself! hmm. This is going to
  be a battle of wits! Ninja vs Pirate! Will I get my precious Wii back
  in one piece!?!? Only time will tell.  I’m up for the challenge. ^_^
  

  
  

  Wednesday and Thursday were uneventful but around this time I’m
  starting to get disturbed because I haven’t heard much from my other
  friend K. Yeah that’s right. You only get a letter! Same goes for you
  N. No anime nicknames for either of you until you contact me! That’s
  your punishment. ^_^
  

  
  

  Actually when I think about it I’m pretty much just as bad. My friend 
  Vash the Stampede contacted me and I barely talked to him cuz I was so
  busy with work. And I had so many other things on my mind. It seems he
  had his brother Nicholas D. Wolfwood have concocted some plan to take
  over the world starting with Vietnam and they want my help.  I still
  really haven’t talked to them and I feel super guilty about it. Dunno
  why. I suck. I just don’t really care that much about getting involved
  in some endeavor that will surely be a disappointment.
  

  
  

  Worse, my friend Lantis called me on Saturday and I didn’t return his
  call either. Why is it that everyone seems to want to contact me on the
  days when I’m inundated with work!?!? On those days I just want to
  scream LEAVE ME ALONE!!  And run away and hide. I’m usually feeling
  really bad about myself when I’ve procrastinated to the point that I
  have to nearly kill myself to get it done. And talking to anyone even
  friends on those days is a huge chore.
  

  
  

  Plus man don’t they know how much I hate talking on the phone?  I much
  prefer online chats. My brain shuts down when I’m on the phone almost
  as bad as when I’m in person.  Actually in some ways it’s worse. For
  some reason I find it easier to be uncofortable with even people I am
  comfortable with talking in person with when I’m talking to them over
  the phone.  Other times I start to feel comfortable with it as the
  conversation goes longer though. So long phone conversations are ok but
  then they have the problem of being long. I’d rather be doing something
  else.
  

  
  

  I finished up reading a Manga called My-Hime that first week too. That
  was good stuff. I saw the anime first. The manga is.. completely
  different. And totally ecchi. But good. It was interesting how they
  tried to make all the surprises different in the manga than in the
  anime so that it’s not like you’re reading the same story you already
  saw. Even the important characters were different.  I prefer the anime
  because my favorite character has a bigger role in it. But the manga
  was good stuff too.
  

  
  

  Thursday was a weird day. I suddenly felt really really depressed that
  day. I hate it when I start to feel that way. It was so all
  encompassing and it just built up and up more and more all day. Until
  that evening I was just kinda like fuckit all and just left my computer
  where it was stopped talking to everyone, didn’t even say that I was or
  why I was leaving, and went to sleep. I have no idea why I was that
  depressed.  I felt really bad though. Really out of it. I suspect I was
  kinda rude to the people I interacted with that day. I just wasn’t in
  the mood to deal with anyone.
  

  
  

  And anyway I woke up late at night like at 2 am and I read something on
  my xanga, a compliment someone left on one of my entries, and then
  poof. The depression was just *completely* gone. Like it had never been
  there.  That’s such a weird feeling. Such a radical contrast. Maybe
  there’s a little bipolar-ness in me after all.
  

  
  

  Somewhere along there I wrote a xanga entry called Kryptonite. It was
  an entry I’d thought up a long time ago but I kinda just whipped it
  together one day. During work when I should have been working. I wrote
  it fast and didn’t think much about it.
  

  
  

  Friday was nothing interesting except that I got a new graphics card
  for my PC. It’s actually a funny story how I got this PC.  You see my
  Uncle’s computer was broken and ancient and he asked me to fix it. I
  tried while I was visiting them but it was a pain so I took the PC home
  with me. It was really really badly infected with viruses and shit. And
  I messed with it and messed with it and then it wouldn’t boot up. Nice.
  I guess I’d have to reinstall the OS only I don’t have the OS disk and
  I don’t much like putting illegal copies on people’s computers these
  days cuz then the updates don’t tend to work too well and that just
  leaves you more vulnerable to viruses and the likes. I have my MSDN
  copy of XP that I might be able to use. But that’s kinda not cocher
  either because it really belongs to my old job even though the license
  is in my name. And I’ve used it a couple of times before no problems.
  

  
  

  Anyway, the real problem though  was that this computer sucked! What
  was the point of reinstalling an OS and then the same problem happens
  again all over again. Plus decent computers are sooo cheap these days.
  It’s so not worth the cost in time to fix an ancient computer like
  this. It’s makes much more sense to buy a new one. Plus the new one
  will be more energy efficient, thousands of times more powerful, easier
  to use, and safer.
  

  
  

  But my Uncle he’s the kinda person who doesn’t want anyone to help him
  out or I would just have bought him a new PC. So… I concocted a plan.
  I bought a new computer and then I would exchange my Uncle’s PC
  components with those of that computer. I’d transfer all the files and
  he’d never be the wiser! Score!
  

  
  

  OF course it didn’t turn out that way…
  

  
  

  First I realized that if I did this I’d violate the warranty of this
  new PC and the more I thought about it I thought that’s probably not so
  good idea o n a new purchase. So I decided I’ll just keep this new
  computer and give my Uncle my own custom built PC instead. Now my
  custom PC is no slouch. It’s comparable to the new one I bought even
  though it’s over a  year old because I picked all the best components
  and was making a budget gaming build. So it’s powerful. It will serve
  my Uncle and his family well I think.
  

  
  

  But then I took all of both computer apart when I realized, oh shit my
  custom PC doesn’t fit in my Uncle’s case! Do’h! It was one of those
  damnable mini-cases. Why didn’t I think of htis BEFORE I took
  everything apart?
  

  
  
  All this was happening just before I moved to Indiana for the new job. 
  And I was sooo rushed and had a billion things to do. So I decided to
  just put back together my old computer and give it to my Uncle as it
  was. And just lie and say that I broke his.
  
  
  
  So that’s what I did.
  
   
  
  And I ended up with a new PC. A Gateway that I hadn’t even taken out of the box until I moved to Indiana. Then I set it up.
  
  
  
  It’s a decent machine. But… I was soo annoyed. No DVI! I thought all
  PCs had DVI by this day and age? Why are they still building crap with
  VGA. Come on. That’s ridiculous. Still the PC only cost like $300 so
  what was I expecting?
  
  
  
  Anyway, I’ve been using that PC almost exclusively for a long time now
  since I lent away my laptop to people who needed it more than me. And
  it’s been quite ok even with Vista. IT was preloaded with a lot of junk
  but it still runs ok despite the junk. 
  
  
  
  But for some reason I wasn’t completely comfortable with it. And I
  didn’t realize why. Like when I was doing that big project the previous
  week I’d take my work home expecting to work on it at home nad I’d try
  but I just couldn’t get my work done. It was really uncomfortable and
  annoying. Suddenly earlier that week I realized what the problem was!
  The screen resolution! It’s god awful!  Lol. I’m slow. For some reason
  I just didn’t connect the low resolution with why I was finding it so
  uncomfortable to work on that machine.
  
  
  
  That’s when I ordered a graphics card.  I ended up getting the GeForce
  8800 GT cuz it was cheap. Under $100 but still decent for gaming. I
  almost got the new Radeon 4850 the new Champion of midrange graphics
  cards from what I’ve heard. But I read a lot of reviews about how it
  overheats like crazy and I’ve had problesm with my last radeon graphics
  card over heating so I decided to go with the Nvidia instead. It’s only
  256 MB onboard ram but other than that it’s powerful enough. Honestly I
  don’t expect to be gaming that much and I’m not the kind of person who
  wants to play Crysis with insane resolutions or any stuff like that. I
  just might play some World of Warcraft or something and I want to be
  able to work comfortable. The GeForce 8800 GT is more than enough for
  that.
  
  
  
  I installed it on Friday and it went totally smoothly. And now my PC
  screen is beautiful and bright and vibrant. All is well in the world.
  
  
  
  And that’s the entirety of my Friday.
  
  
  
  Onward to Saturday. Saturday I decided to go to the Magic Tournament.
  Why? Well I randomly decided to do it on Thursday when I was depressed
  and happened to go to the WotC home page and saw that they were having
  a Prerelease.  And besides I was feeling bored and wanted something to
  do. Anyway Sakura and her Syaoran had gone off with Chiyo and Shikamoto
  to some sort of weird barbecue world in search of her magical feathers
  or something like that.  So they would be gone for over a week so no
  hanging out with them. And I still don’t really know anybody up here.
  So I thought the magic tournament might give me something to do with
  myself.
  
  
  
  Saturday morning was rainy and I was feeling totally lazy so I didn’t
  leave right away to go there and get there early. My milk was bad so I
  couldn’t eat cereal for breakfast as was my plan.  And I can’t find my
  GPS anywhere. Also I left my umbrella in the car and the parking lot is
  not exactly right in front of my apartment so I have to walk through
  the pooring rain to get in the car. Somehow I have a bad feeling about
  this day.
  
  
  
  Before I left I checked my xanga and saw a few weird comments on
  Kryptonite from people I’d never seen on my blog before. Huh I thought,
  maybe it was recommended.  But I was in a hurry and I left.
  
  
  
  Out in the rain of course… I got lost trying to find the place.  I
  arrived about 40 minutes later than I expected to. But that’s ok the
  tournament is going on all day.
  
  
  
  When I arrived it had stopped raining. I parked in the garage and got
  out and couldn’t find the building I was going to. Haha. Lost again! I
  followed two guys carrying backpacks. That’s like the universal sign of
  being a Magic Player. You see Magic players feel this urge to haul
  around half their collections in giant backpacks  or duffle bags
  whereever they go. Really you feel totally out of place at one of these
  events if you don’t have some huge bag with you. I brought a duffle bag
  with me too just so I didn’t feel out of place. But all I had in it
  were a couple of books.
  
  
  
  So when I got there I signed up for 3 flights because it’s cheaper that
  way and you get a free play mat. And I figured I’d play all day even if
  I lost really badly.  I hadn’t played in a long time so I wasn’t
  expected to do very well.
  
  
  
  The turn out was pathetic. I mean part of it had to be the rain but
  still it was bad. Compared to the prereleases of Philadelphia and
  Maryland at the University of Maryland this was really barren. Still
  lots of people but not nearly as much. Which is good for me.
  
  
  
  Anyway, there’s not much eventful to say about the tournament that
  anyone who isn’t a Magic player would understand. I played in only two
  flights because I didn’t get defeated so quickly after all. In fact I
  lasted all 4 rounds in the first and by then they were already calling
  for the last flight of the day. So I signed up for that and they gave
  me a voucher for a free flight or booster draft at their store.  Only
  thing is… the store is in Chicago! I have to go there to use it
  because they aren’t having any more prereleases anymore. Suck! What a
  waste of money. I asked if I could give back the playmat and get my
  cash back but they weren’t going for it. Oh well.
  
  
  
  Still overall the tournament wasn’t a waste of money because I did
  well.  At first I was surprised because they did a whole deckswap and
  registration thing for a prerelease which seems a little excessive to
  me and time consumming. Then the judge tried to take away my rules
  insert and throw it in the trash! I had to stop him. haha I needed that
  insert becuase I had been so out of it I had no clue how the new
  mechanics worked. Everyone else was sort of looking at me like I was
  pathetic. Really I didn’t think I’d have a chance.
  
  
  
  Round one and two I slaughtered my opponent easily though. Round three
  I played against one of two girls in the flight. REally not a lot of
  girls at the tournament. But that’s normal for Magic.  She didn’t know
  what swampwalk or forestwalk meant and I had to explain it to her and
  we were both kinda pathetic not knowing most of the cards and having to
  read each others cards and all that but that didn’t stop her from
  pouding me into the dirt. I won game one barely but games two and three
  she played monstrously gigantic creatures that made short work of me.
  Weirdly we were playing the same kind of decks almost identical really.
  Only hers was much better than mine.
  
  
  
  Round four I played a challenging game against a nice and pleasant
  person who seemed nice. He won game one against me but it was close.
  Game two I double mulliganed and thanks to my brilliant sideboard
  choice was able to squeek out a victory. Nice! Game three he was mana
  screwed but put up a good fight anyway and I almost lost.  So that put
  me at 3-1 and I won 3 booster packs.
  
  
  
  The second flight was easier and didn’t take as long. It was 3 matches
  only and they didn’t make us do deck reg or swap which made me happy. I
  got a decent deck with lots of removal.
  
  
  
  I soundly beat my first opponetn and then my second opponent was the
  same pleasant guy from the end of the last tournament. Game one was
  really long and really hard for both of us. I started out a lot ahead
  but then he came back and somehow I managed to stay alive for a long
  time at 1 life and then I managed to turn it around and finally win!
  Game two was also long. We almost ran out of time but he managed to
  beat me. And then time was over. So it was a draw.
  
  
  
  The third match I won easily. So I was 2-0-1 and won 5 more booster
  packs. Not bad. Actually I was third place in this tournament because
  apprently we all sucked and nobody had a record better than 2-0-1.
  Really I could have easily been 1st or 2nd but I got matched down so I
  had worse tie breakers than the other two people. We all had the same
  record though.
  
  
  
  So that was that tournament. I left the place and it was raining like
  all hell AGAIN. And guess what? I left my umbrella in the car yet
  again! So I have to run through the rain to get to the garage.
  Fortunately it was nearby.
  
  
  
  When driving out of the garage someone backed out of his parking space
  right into me! Bam. But he was nice about it. We both got out he
  introduced himself and we looked at each other’s vehicles and found
  that there was no damage so we just went on our way. That’s soo much
  better than last time when I was driving to the fair the person rear
  ended me and when I pulled over in the nearby parking lot so we could
  get out and check for damages he or she just sped off without looking
  back! Ha! Luckily there were no damages.
  
  
  
  On the way home, surprise surpise I got lost again. And arrived home 30
  minutes later than I should have AGAIN. Not to self, never go anywhere
  without a GPS. Of course I found my GPS exactly two seconds after I
  arrived home. It was right where I’d put it!
  
  
  
  And after I got home, that was when found out I was featured! W00T!
  Still don’t get why that one was featured but that’s cool anyway. So I
  spent half the night reading comments and stuff.
  
  
  
  Overall Saturday was a really exhausting and great day.
  
  
  
  Except for one little thing… Well not little at all really. Rather immensely disturbing.
  
  
  
  K had sent me a couple of messages that while I was gone that were sort
  of disturbing. I replied to them and just hoped that she would sign
  online sooner or later and we could talk about it and I could see if
  there’s anything I can do to help.
  
  
  
  But this is still bothering me to this day, because I haven’t heard
  from her since then except for those few disturbing messages. Maybe
  she’s lost internet connection or something? That’s entirely possible
  since she’s moving and maybe the new place doesn’t have access. That’s
  my guess. But it could be something worse. I hope not.
  
  
  
  OK so week 2! You didn’t think I was almost done did you? Well I told you you wouldn’t want to read this.
  
  
  
  Week two wasn’t as eventful really though. *Most* of the week was spent
  just doing stuff on Xanga. Mostly talking to people. Commenting people.
  Replying to all the many many comments left on my featured blog entry.
  I still haven’t replied to nearly all of them. Geez, I don’t know if I
  will be able to. Maybe I’ll just give up.
  
  
  
  I read most of this book called the Last Troubadour, Sakura
  recommended. It’s pretty cool.  Hmm when I think about it if I were a
  Troubadour then I think this blog is sort of like my act.  There’s no
  music but I do a decent song and dance with my words and there’s an
  occassional joke here or there and there might just be some hidden
  meaning behindit all that nobody sees but me. ^_^ That doesn’t mean
  this blog is fake. Nope. It’s just a show. And the show is as real as
  the presenter who presents it. There’s just another me who nobody sees.
  The performer when he’s not on the stage.
  
  
  
  Some time during the week I met Azmaria online and she seems like an
  interesting person but her existence seems wrought with controversy. 
  For a time I tried to get to the bottom of it all, my curiosity got the
  better of me even though it’s really all none of my business. But it
  was confusing and I was bored by it all so I gave up. Really I could
  see possible ways the story could have unfolded and all three result in
  me behaving exactly the same… so… I don’t care. I’ll believe the
  story that makes me feel best until further evidence presents itself.
  But the whole situation seems so sad to me. Why so much controversy in
  the world of Xanga? I didn’t know there was such a dark underbelly
  surrounding everything here. Guess that’s the advantage of being caught
  up in my own little world.  Anyway, we should all just be friends. Am I
  too much of an optimist? I don’t think wounds can’t be healed. Problems
  can’t be solved. And people can all grow up. Grow better.
  
  
  
  Azmaria and I had a number of chats. She seems to like verbal chats and
  even video chats something I’ve done very very few times. Again just
  like I don’t like talking on the phone I don’t like talking over video
  chat. Plus I broke my headset that had a built in microphone a month
  ago (I rolled over it with my chair and it snapped!)  and I’ve got
  another microphone around here and webcam but I have no clue where they
  are.  So she was on cam and I was just typing which was really weird. 
  But it was still interesting.
  
  
  
  Oh well what else happened?
  
  
  
  Chiyo-chan and I had an interesting talk about the nature of family on
  Sunday. I blogged about that on Monday. Still not sure what I think
  about that whole topic. I think sometimes it’d be nice if everyone
  could tell people to fuck off when they treat them badly, but I can
  understand how hard it can be if it’s family.
  
  
  
  My boss and I had a lot of conversations about video games all week.
  Hmm, my boss, let’s call him, Aizen-sama.  Aizen’s interesting. He
  loves games and he’s almost sold me on the superiority of the
  Playstation 3 to my petty little Xbox-360. And anyway Microsoft is evil
  so it wasn’t really all that hard.  E3 has been happening lately or
  something and he’s been keeping me up to date on the rumours and all
  that. Apparently Final Fantasy XIII is gonna be for the 360 too! So
  maybe I’ll stick with the evil empire a little longer after all.
  Although Square sorta sucks these days.
  
  
  
  I feel like there’s something really important that happened this week that I’m forgetting. Hmmm… I wonder what it could be.
  
  
  
  hmm…
  
  
  
  Oh yeah! Some random movie came out.  About a crazy guy that dresses up
  like a Bat or something and beats up on clowns for fun. 
  
  
  
  Well I saw this batty movie on opening ngiht cuz I was bored and I have
  to tell you it was BRILLIANT. Amazingly so. I loved it. I can’t give it
  enough praise. But I don’t want this journal entry to turn into a mush
  mush Batman is the greatest fest as you’ve probably read a gazillion of
  those already so I’m going to stop right now.
  
  
  
  I do want to say something random about Batman though… VaultESL, ur,
  I mean Ashitaka, wrote a xanga entry about what Batman meant to him
  where he said he could relate to Batman more because he was human.
  
  
  
  I was thinking about that the other day and trying to see why I can
  relate to Batman. I don’t think it’s because he’s more human exactly. I
  mean sure he’s human but these days they try to make Superman human
  too.
  
  
  
  I think it’s because I can relate to his personality a lot. Batman has
  a really seriously bad hero-complex. I mean worse than most other
  superheroes. He has to save the world. Everyone’s safety and happiness
  is his responsibility. And everything that goes wrong is his fault.
  
  
  
  It’s possible, that I might have a hero-complex too. Yeah I’m always
  sticking my nose into things that aren’t my business. Trying to fix
  things. Trying to help people. Trying to save people. It’s stupid but I
  keep doing it. Only to find… generally that I can’t fix it. Things go
  wrong anyway. And maybe people don’t want to fix things. And that feels
  horrible. And that’s Batman’s predicament too. He helps and succeeds in
  doing a lot. But in the end, he doesn’t fix things. Things get worse
  anyway. Or even more worse because of him.  I can definitely relate to
  that feeling. Tragic striving to change the world only to see your
  efforts come to naught.
  
  
  
  It’s different than other superheroes like Superman. Superman is
  basically heroically successful in most everything he does. And what’s
  more I get the impression that his desire to “help people” is sort of a
  condescending. I get the impression that he wants to help people and
  save people in the same way a human might want to save their beloved
  pet dog or cat. Because you know that’s what we’re sort of like to him.
  Not equals. We’re just under his “protection”.  Batman’s different.
  He’s one of us. And he wants to help becase of what happened to him.
  Because of the trauma’s he’s faced. He wants to make up for his past
  and make it so no one ever has to lose their parents like he did.
  
  
  
  OK that’s enough of that.
  
  
  
  After Batman, I got out of the theatre and had to drive home.
  
  
  
  Now you know this theatre is a straight line from my house. A fucking
  direct straight line. No turns. No curves. Nothing. So you’re no doubt
  going to tell me it’s impossible to get lost on such a route right? I
  mean  that’s what I thought. *impossible* That’s why I didn’t even bother to bring my GPS.
  
  
  
  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
  
  
  
  Somehow I took the wrong exit out of the parking lot ended up on a road
  that I thought was the right road only it wasn’t and then I saw a road
  I recognized and turned down it thinking It’d take me home, only it
  took me god knows where. A few turns later and I didn’t have any clue
  how to even backtrack to where I was originally and I was utterly lost
  to the point that I was thinking about calling and waking of Sakura or
  Chiyo and  risking incurring their wrath to ask for directions. Or even
  Aizen-sama, my boss. Ha! That’d be a funny conversation. “Hey boss
  sorry to call you at 4 am but I’m like totally lost so if you want me
  to show up for work tomorrow can you give me some directions?”
  
  
  
  Somehow the gods were with me and I made it back to my safe abode in one piece.
  
  
  
  Today I ordered a MacBook! There’s this ebay deal where you can get 25%
  off using Live Search so I decided to splurge and go ahead and buy it.
  It’s probably not a great deal but it’s a decent one. And I’m not
  likely to find any better. Unforutnately earlier this week I had
  ordered another laptop too. A 17 inch Gateway which was a ridiculously
  good deal. Basically a gaming laptop for like half price. Not sure if
  they are going to follow through with it or if I’ll get what I’m
  supposed to get but if I do it’s an absurdly good deal. So now I have
  to decide which one do I keep the macbook or the PC and which do I sell
  on ebay? 
  
  
  
  I also want to buy a laptop for my little brother this week as his
  birthday is coming up but I want to get him a cheaper one. He’s not
  going to be doing any gaming so he doesn’t need something that pwoerful
  and I don’t think he’d want a mac since he’s used PCs all his life.  Or
  maybe that’s just an excuse becuase *I* don’t want to give up one of
  these laptops. Lol. I was going to get him a normal $400 laptop. 
  Anyway, I’ll give Chiyo my existing laptop. And buy my brother,
  Hikaru-kun a new laptop and then decide what to do with the other two.
  Probably best to sell the gateway as I can probably make a decent
  profit off of it. And Sakura needed a laptop for school too so maybe
  I’ll use the proceeds to buy another cheap one for her. Haha. I’m sort
  of like the laptop fairy! I lent K my other laptop too. lol. I believe
  that everyone really needs a decent computer in this day and age
  though. It’s really really important. I don’t think computers are
  luxuries. I think they are necessities.
  
  
  
  That’s pretty much it for that week too. I was basically bored all week
  except for the Batman excursion and the fun conversations with Xangans
  and interacting with te xanga community. Bored and worried. I’m still
  worried. I worry too much.
  
  
  
  Here’s to a new week with less accidents, more fun, less boredom, and fewer worries!

  • 11:15 pm
  • 8 Comments