July 23, 2008
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Rant: All I wanted was a Stinking Laptop..
The deal was in store only. That was my first mistake. It was Staples. Mistake number two. Well it’s not like any of the others would have been much better but still.
I came there armed with SKU I needed. I found the laptop immediately. It was the cheapest laptop in the store. But still more than powerful enough to suit my brother’s purposes. Exactly the one I wanted. And so I asked to buy it. Should have been a simple two second process. Grab laptop. Swipe credit card. Grab receipts. Out the door. That’s what I *thought*. But oh no. It’s never quite so easy now is it?
They came as a tag team pair you see. First person said I’ll go get you the laptop, while such and such answers any questions you have.
Mr. Employee Number 2 starts asking me a bunch of meaningless questions. “Is this computer for yourself?” “Is this your first laptop?” “What are you going to be using it for?” My inclination is to say “None of your business”. If I want to buy it and sell it on ebay, give it to a homeless man on the street, or whatever, that’s my business. But I don’t. I answer politely with noncommital vague responses.
Mr. Employee Number 1 returns. Hey wait a minute… he’s not carrying a laptop! Instead he’s carrying a booklet of “coupons” which he hands to Number 2 and walks off again.
The Number 2 barrages me with a bunch of “offers”. Take this extended warranty, or that extended warranty. Don’t you want this cool metal cooling fan? How about some screen wipes? Do you have any blank DVDs? A spare battery doesn’t hurt? Would you like to upgrade your RAM? How about this software?
Gah!
I make my lack of interest pretty clear in my demeanor and soon he runs out of steam. The last thing he tries to foist upon me is this “Free Setup Service”. It’s totally free, he said. And they’ll come setup and configure my laptop for me!
Oh wow! Free configuration of my laptop! whoop-di-do.
Let me ask you this Number 2, how hard is it to setup a laptop? How many steps are involved? As far as I know there’s exactly ONE step. Turn it on. There. Done. I’ve worked with dozens of laptops, hundreds of PCs. It’s not rocket science.
Why would I want someone to come to my house and configure my laptop? Or is it done in store? Why would I want to waste even *more* of my time than I’ve already wasted while you futz around with my laptop and probably screw it up.
And you say it’s free. But I don’t believe that for a second. The price will almost certainly be an endless stream of employees trying to sell me more garbage I don’t need.
Ugh.
My annoying ordeal alas was not quite over even then. Number 2 hands me the coupon book and says something about a form I need to fill out to get my name and address and phone number: “just so we can call you in three months to make sure everything is working out ok with your laptop and again in six months.”
I shrug and Number 2 walks me up to the front of the store pulls out the paper and hands it to me. Number 1 is there too and Number 2 says “All you have to do is fill out this form and Number 1 here will answer any questions you might.” Then Number 2 walks away. My thoughts. Good riddance. No I didn’t say it. I’m a nice guy.
The form is asking for quite a lot of personal information. Home phone, cell phone, name, birthdate, address. wtf. I start to fill out my name and Number 1 starts rambling on. I was hardly paying attention just wanting to get out of there but then I just barely catch him say:
“We just need your number so we can call you and check and see how it’s going in three months and maybe let you know about any special offers or promotions we might be running.”
“Hold up” I said. My hand freezes, my name only partially filled out.
“Do I have to do this? I just want to buy a computer.”
“Yes it’s part of our policy.”
“But… I don’t want to be called up and having someone sell me some crap in three months.”
“Sorry sir, we need to get at least a name and a phone number from you.”
“But… I just want a laptop. This is dumb. Why do I have to do this?”
“It’s our policy.”
“So can I at least make it so you don’t get the stupid phone calls?”
I scan the form. I don’t see anywhere on there where you can say “Don’t call me you boneheads.”
“Sure”, says Number 1, “I just need you to write your name and phone number and write OPT OUT down there at the bottom of the page and you’ll be good to go.”
I sigh and mutter while filling ito ut: “This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of.”
OK I’m lying. I didn’t mutter it. I said it rather loudly and obnoxiously.
Number 1 replied:
“It’s part of our policy. I mean look at it this way, you wouldn’t go into a dealer and just walk out with a Car would you?”
“This is $500. My car is $20,000. There is no comparison.”
“Well it’s just part of our policy. We can’t sell you the laptop without at least a name and phone number.”
Sigh. And so I gave it to them. I didn’t like it. I’m sure that OPT OUT isn’t going to do shit and I’ll get a phone call in 3 months about garbage I don’t care about. I should have given them a fake name and number.
So why is it that EVERY store has to collect tons of personal information about you these days? Why must our entire lives be in ten thousand databases around the country? How is that safe for us? How does it make sense? I hate this. I hate getting the stupid discount cards at grocery stores. I hate how radio shack asks me for my phone number so they can look up my account every time I try to buy something. I hate it all.
I mean I understand that a lot of people aren’t as knowledgible about computers and they might find that sales associate rather helpful. And not everybody is buying a cheapass laptop like I am (but if you’re spending more money and buying it from staples you are almost certainly wasting your money). But still, even if you were buying a $3000 Laptop and didn’t know anything about Computers most of the stuff they were trying to sell me was just a load of BS. I feel bad for the people who don’t know anything and might buy that stuff. Some useless piece of metal sold as a “heat fan” for a laptop that has no problems with overheating. Way overpriced screen wipes that you can make yourself for pennies. Useless software you can find better equivalents of for free online. A horrifying over $200 four year extended warranty. Basically junk.
Let me ask you, if you were buying a brand new car and it cost only $400 to $3000 would you put up with all the crap a lot of the dealers put you through? What if your car became so very obsolete in a year or two that nobody would pay you twenty bucks for it? What if your car did not need to protect you? If there was no meaningful risk of injury from using it? What if prices were dropping so rapidly that you could reasonably expect to buy a hundred times more powerful car for half the price is two or three years? Would you put up with the wheeling and dealing and trying to foist nonsense services and warranties and extra products and crazy payment plans on you? Huh?
If not then why would you put up with it when buying a computer?
It makes no sense to me.
Comments (15)
That’s horrible. I’m going to have to ask my friend who works at Staples why they do that. I think I would’ve just walked out without the laptop.
@buckeyegirl31 - I would have to except it happened to be a birthday gift for my little brother and I needed it and it was the best deal I could find.
@nephyo - you’re a great brother to him a laptop. I think they do all that crap to make more money off of people…who a.) just want them to go away and b.) are clueless about shopping for a computer.
When stores ask me for my zip code, phone number, etc. I either just say no or I make something up off the top of my head. I bought a desktop PC at Best Buy a few years ago and when I refused to pay for any of the extras, the cashier just walked away from the register and left the computer on the floor behind the counter. All the other employees acted like I was invisible. I finally grabbed a manager and started yelling – something I’d NEVER done in public before. Buying a computer just brings out the worst in me.
That’s crap. I don’t recall having to go through that when we bought our laptop from Best Buy down in San Antonio. Sure they asked us a few questions about what we were looking for and such, but I don’t recall them throwing all that extra garbage at us. That’s lame, and I’d probably get frustrated too. Just let me buy the damn thing! In fact! I went with my best friend to buy her laptop in April because hers was stolen out of her car. (her fault, she left it there and didn’t lock the door) We went in, chose which she wanted and then went to the check out. They offered her a little warranty thing and ran it over with her, they swiped her credit card, they bagged it, we left. It took maybe 10-15 minutes to get in there and get out.
STAPLES BLOWS >.<
They do it because some rich corporate fat guys who have no idea what’s really going on in the stores think it’s the best way to make more money. Because that obnoxious schpeel actually does get a costumer here and there to purchase something else, so obviously it’s worth annoying the fuck out of every other costumer in order to get it. They think if you give them your personal information or get their stupid rewards card you’ll feel more loyal to that office supply store than all the others.
For the record, the employees hate doing it even more than you hate hearing it. It’s just we’ll get written up or fired if we don’t offer all the add ons or sell a certain number of warranties.
Thank god I’m not at that job anymore.
Wow….that’s a mess. The age of technology certainly has its downside.
in the end, no one is forcing you to buy the laptop. i think you can legally not fill any of that out. pay in cash, and walk out. but then you’d have to find a lawyer. lol. then pay his fees. then.. ya know.
in the end, they probably already have all your info, this is just a formality, so they don’t have to explain how they have all your info already and who your 2nd girlfriend is and just who they wiretapped to get that info from.
haha… was it worth it?
XDD I find it ironic that Staples’ slogan is “That was easy.” But I don’t think I’ve ever had such an unpleasant experience there before. Then again, all I ever buy at Staples is school supplies.
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That crap IS store policy, basically since store policy is make as much cash off the customer as possible.They teach em to sell EVERYTHING. I remember my sociology 2 professor grumbling about this.
@saintvi - That’s crazy. I would have shouted too if some store treated me like that.
@TigerIly - you’re right. I would totally have gone to bestbuy if the price on this particular laptop wasn’t so much better at staples. I’m gonna hesitate before I buy computer supplies from them again.
@elvesdoitbetter - Yeah that job sounds horrible. I felt bad getting upset at the workers. I know it’s just some stupid policy they have no control over. If I had money I’d totally open up a no-nonsense office supply/computer supply store that advertised treating people like human beings and made fun of all the other office supply stores. I think I’d be rich.
@MayoKetchup - yeah pretty much *everybody* already has all of our info. In this day and age it’s hard to keep anything private. I’m just annoyed with having to write it down yet AGAIN and the threat of pointless phone calls.
@resilient_raindrop - Ha! Yup Ironic. I’ve had no real problems with staples until now either. I even bought a laptop from them before but I didn’t have to go through this BS last time.
@Punkscholar624 - I figured it was. It’s so stupid though. Definitely someone needs to change it. Open a store that shows that regular people would prefer *not* to be bugged to death.
Corporate greed. They sell your info to other companies that want to
sell you stuff that you do not want or need. Mispell your name on one
of those forms and then watch for the junk mail you will get from other
companies that bought your info from that store.
wow that totally sucks but it makes for a good story.