September 28, 2008

• Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Are you okay with that or would you rather be the other?

  I’m an introvert most definitely. When I take personality tests I usually score around 100% introverted. I’ve written about my introversion in the past too on this blog so I won’t belabor the point too much. To put it simply I require long periods of time by myself, locked in my room, or sitting in my car somewhere, or at the office when my boss is not around. Doing these things re-energizes me.

  Am I OK with being this way? Well yes mostly. I think extroverts are kinda weird. But there are substantive disadvantages. For one thing society seems to favor the extrovert considerably whereas introverts are encouraged generally to change who they are, to “go out and talk to more people” and BS like that. Generally people assume that when you are introverted you are depressed, have a low self-esteem, cowardly, and the likes. And yeah that annoys me since all of those things vary independently of introversion. If you are an introvert and depressed, cowardly, and having a low self-esteem,  and someone makes you change to become more extroverted you probably wont’ become nay less depressed, cowardly, or having a low self-esteem. Indeed, more likely the constant effort to be someone you are not will make you more depressed, lower your self-esteem, and leave you constantly afraid of letting your guard down and revealing your true introverted self.

  There are two other disadvantages of introversion that come to mind.  One happens when people the introvert interacts with notice the introvert pulling away, they sometimes incorrectly consider it a judgment against them.  That is an extrovert might think that the introvert is annoying them or avoiding them or doesn’t like them, or just might get mad at the introvert for not giving them enough attention. When the reality of course is the introvert is just trying to preserve his or her alone time so that he or she can act normally around those other people when he or she does spend time with them, for otherwise, being an introvert it would drive him or her insane to be perpetually socially on. This can result in numerous conflicts that sometimes lead to disastrous outcomes if both parties don’t acknowledge their fundamental differences and learn to bend a little.

  The last disadvantage of introversion is the ironic opposite over compensation. This is when extroverts recognize someone’s introversion and in order to be understanding and give the introvert space end up fully isolating or avoiding the introvert and never engaging the introvert in conversation.  This is a misunderstanding of introversion as the need for perfect solitude all the time or a desire to not have friends or companionship whatsoever. But that’s not introversion at all. Introverts are still human and humans still very much need social interactions same as everyone else. IT’s just that they *also* need alone time. Being an introvert does not necessarily mean you want to be a total loner.

  Anyways, despite these disadvantages I’m happy with being an introvert. I would never give up my peaceful moments alone to think and wonder and dream. I need my time away from the chaos of people’s insane ramblings about meaningless nothings. If I were to be otherwise,  I wouldn’t be me. And I like me. So introversion it is. For now.

     

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  • 2:36 pm
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