Month: November 2008

  • An Important Announcement

    Xanga has been good to me. I’ve made friends and allies. I’ve read extraordinary writers. I’ve had fun. I’ve been featured several times and I’ve learned a lot about life and about writing. And so this is not easy for me to do. It’s really hard. But the time has come.

    It is with great regret and a heavy heart that I have come to you today to announce that I am NOT leaving Xanga.

    I know, I know. It’s sad isn’t it?  I won’t be leaving. I won’t be stopping my posts. And I won’t be taking a break. Not for one month or six. Although there are many things in my life, complexities and problems that haunt me, and I am full of constant worry and fear and self doubt,  I fully intend to deal with it all and STAY on Xanga. I fully intend to continue to plague you all with my endless meandering posts. I fully intend to keep posting whenever the urge hits me whatever I feel like.

    And I won’t stop commenting too. I won’t stop visiting your sites, reading sometimes, skimming other times, and leaving long multipage comments of rants in opposition to whatever it is that you happen to be saying.

    I also won’t be changing my style. I won’t be changing my name. I won’t be starting over and I won’t be deleting any of my posts. I’m always gonna be here. Right here. Just the way I am.
     
    That’s right. You aren’t getting rid of me. I know it sucks. It’s tough. I know you’ll all miss me not not being here. And I’ll miss not seeing you too. It’s a sad and dark day. I feel like I’m about to cry.  Well not really but that sounds good doesn’t it?

    You’re stuck with me for now and forever. I will never quit Xanga and if ever there comes a time where months pass without you hearing from me I want you to know now that it is my deepest desire to have my Xanga readership form up and become an army of Xanga Ninjas who hunt me down and break whatever curse or force is keeping me from writing, or at least avenge my untimely death. 

    I just felt that I needed to let you all know that now before it’s too late.

    I’ll be here. Writing. Always.

  • Can’t be explained

    Lots of people have said something along the lines of “some things can’t be explained.”  I’ve heard this said many times in particular to me because of how tenacious I’ve always been in seeking explanations and finding answers. I like mysteries only if they can be solved and nothing irks me more than an unknown.

    I disagree. I believe that all things can be explained and everything can be known. Just the fact that I don’t know it or that there is not yet any place that I know to go to discover the explanation does not mean the explanation does not exist. Just because an explanation is hard to see, mysterious, or subtle, does not mean it can’t be seen. If you look at the history of human understanding we can see a steady exponential growth. It stands to reason that the things left to be understood by human beings far exceeds the things as of yet understood.

    That means when someone tells you about something mysterious or unusual it’s rather stupid imo to say that it’s just not true or delusional without evidence or proof that it is delusional. Much more likely to me seems to me that I simply do not udnerstand this mysterious thing and perhaps nobody understand this mysterious thing. Yet. It can be understood. One day somebody will understand it. Some day, *I* fully intend to understand it. I just don’t yet.

    Now some will say, “but aren’t there some things that are beyond the capacity of humanity to understand?”  To which my knee jerk response is always: “who cares what humanity can understand? I refuse to believe that there’s anything that is beyond the capacity for ME to understand.”  Meaning quite simply that I will never doubt my capacity to know. There’d be no point. Once you start putting limits on yourself why should you bother to struggle or strive at all? Why give up like that?  I’ll never understand the desire to put some things beyond yourself.

    We should all believe we are capable of anything. That we can understand anything. And everything! If not in this life than in another.

  • vulnerability and strength

    It occurs to me that some people are naturally more inclined to find people who appear vulnerable and/or defenseless on the surface but possess an underlying hidden strength more appealing whereas others prefer just the opposite.

    We see this all the time in stories. There’s the strong tough guy who supports people and saves the day but who deep down is more sensitive and vulnerable than he ever lets anyone see. And there’s the heroine who seems like she’s going to break down in the face of the challenges thrust upon her only to when the crises is at its worst display a kind of unexpected strength that saves the day. 

    Generally those are the standard gender portrayals. The first is the valiant Knight. The second is the magical Princess. They are classic stereotypes in stories but they manifest just as commonly in real life too. You need only open your eyes and look at people and it becomes clear which character someone is trying to be or perceiving someone else as.

    There are cases where the gender roles reverse too. More modern stories do this more often and it seems to be a very conscious choice of the authors. For older stories we only see the roles reversed in children, most commonly you see the coming of age stories usually of young boys who develop their inner strength while learning to block and suppress their emotions.  This is a very common story arc even in most modern stories.

    We can see this as a kind of cultural engineering and manipulation suggesting that males should discard and abandon any sense of vulnerability or sensitivity in their childhood and become more “manly” as they grow older. The opposite trend exists in stories too, where women are meant to discard “tomboyishness” of their childhood and abandon doing things on their own in favor of relying on the nearby males but it’s less common in stories in recent years since women’s rights movements have taken off.

    If we take a step back we have to ask two important questions.

    1. Is it true that everyone has or can develop both a vulnerable side and a strong side?

    2. Is it the case that one side must be dominant and another hidden?

    To the first, it’s hard to say with a certainty but it seems highly likely that the answer is yes. Most people we know who we get to know well we start to see that they have both a forceful, aggressive side and a passive sensitive side. And although we can certainly imagine a kind of butch person who never has a moment of weakness, who shows no emotions and who’s emotional awareness is virtually nonexistent,  we are hard pressed to find any examples of that whom we know well enough to declare it to be so.  Likewise we can imagine a person who is incapable of standing up for themselves, always needs others and is incapable of achieving anything on his or her own, who is destroyed by hardship, breaks down and collapses frequently and has no aggressive dominant tendencies whatsoever. It just seems highly unlikely.

    So we can say I think with confidence than the normal state of people is to have both a vulnerable and a strong side. And if those stereotypical extreme alternates exist, we can naturally relegate those to psychological disorders that should be treated if possible.

    So that leaves question 2. Is it true that everyone is has one side suppressed? It sometimes *seems* that way in stories and in life. Go ahead and try to categorize the people you know, and it quickly becomes easy to throw them into one or the other of the two buckets, those whose strong side is beneath the surface and those whose vulnerable side is hidden below.  That’s not to say that for any of those people you might not personally have seen the other side of these people. Rather it simple means that there’s a default orientation in most people toward one trend or the other.

    Why would this be we might ask?  Perhaps there is as I suggested early simply a historical cultural engineering that we see manifest in our stories and tales. People are taught to be one way or the other and so they are.  Alternatively perhaps there is an evolutionary causal trend. That is to say, perhaps as I said in my first line, people are attracted to one or the other of these types. We are attracted to the vulnerable because of a desire to be the catalyst to draw out and inspire them to manifest their hidden strength (I’m more this way. attracted to hidden strength, btw). Or we are attracted to the strong out of a desire to be the one that delves into the depths of that person’s soul and uncovers their sweat vulnerable side they can’t show anyone else. These two trends being well known would naturally encourage people to hide one or the other side of themselves in an attempt to attract intimate partners and close friends.

    Yet another explanation might be that it’s just too hard to for most people to utilize both aspects of their nature at once. It’s much easier to ignore our sensitivity or our aggression than to be both at the same time. What’s more when someone seems to be both at once others might find that person confusing and unpredictable. Hence their might be a risk of being an unintentional social outcast by trying to be all of yourself all the time and shaking people out of their content expectations of a simple life of predictable entities. We might suppress one side of ourselves simply because it makes our lives heck of a lot easier.

    Whichever the case, I believe it would behoove us to attempt to break out of these molds and expectations and start to behave in a manner that demonstrates all aspects of our personality and does not hide any. This is more honest and true, will prevent confusion and will enable us to understand one another much easier going forward.
     

  • Dear God

    Hiya!  You may have noticed I haven’t talked to you mentally or verbally or through writing in a long long loooong time. There’s a reason for that. It’s because I honestly don’t really believe in you. And while it’s true that I didn’t believe in you back then when I was a kid and I would imagine having conversations and debates with you, I was much more of a coward back then so I believed in hedging my bets “just in case” if you know what I mean.

    So that’s why if you recall, my old conversations would begin with a lot of crazy conditional statements. I would say something like “If there’s a God, or a spirit, or a power, or a creator of the universe, or an alien of power beyond the capability of humanity, or a universal conglomerate of all life or all nature combined with a kind of sentience or awareness, or an energy force that has power over life or death. If you are the Christian God or the God of any other religion, or Mother Nature, or a Goddess of some other sort, or even if there’s even more than one of you, a pantheon of Gods and Goddesses or spirits or powers. If you are living or dead, All Good or All Evil or All Neutral or some mixture of the three, or if you are me or within me or a part of me, or even if you’re a super powered snail who can hear my thoughts and answer my pleas, then whatever or whoever or whereever you are, hear my words! This is a letter meant for you. But if you don’t exist, then obviously I am just wasting my time for my own amusement. Oh well. In any case here’s what I have to say.”  Or something like that.

    Well if I haven’t done that lately? Why am I writing to you now? And why no such conditional prefix? Well I’m writing primarily because I like to copy. I’ve seen a lot of pleas for God, questions for God, descriptions of conversations with God on the internet lately, particularly on Xanga so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon. I can write to God too! Aren’t I special? Not that I am mocking the heartfelt pleas of others. I’m not. And this too will be a heartfelt presentation of what I really would say to God if there was a God, just with what my friends deem my usual cheeky ironic style. No, I just got the idea from you others and I’m copying. Why? Well maybe I’m bored. I honestly don’t believe anything will come of it. After all, I don’t really think that you exist.

    But you already know that don’t you? Being as you’re God and all. And you even know everything I’m about to write and say even though I’m not even sure what I’m about to write and say. Which makes for quite an odd one sided conversation doesn’t it? Why don’t you just tell me what I’m going to say so that this can go a little more smoothly. What you won’t? Well I guess that would have been waaay too easy.

    So anyways, I guess if I’m to talk to you I might as well make some reasonable assumptions in order to have anything to say to you. If you’re evil or in multiples or something I doubt you or all of you give a damn about what I have to say. So I might as well take the most common assumptions as the basis of my conversation. I’ll say you’re the Christian God, or some such similar God or Force or entity, all Good and all Powerful and all seeing and whatnot.

    Alright now for what to say! So you may have noticed, God-o-mine, that things are kinda screwed up right now. I mean, I’m not all seeing or all brilliant like you, but I look around and I see a lot of people are very very worried about their future. And those are the people doing ok. Other people are more than worried, they’re basically suffering painful emotional and physical pain. They aren’t happy. They’re hurt and they’re without direction and they’re afraid.  And some of them… far too many are my friends and family. This is not cool.

    Why are they feeling the ways? Well I imagine you know better than I. And don’t give me that, it’s because they haven’t accepted you or don’t believe in you, or don’t put their faith in you bullshit. I’m not buying it. There’s plenty of evil people who don’t give a damn about you who live quite happily whereas there are others who have put their lives and soul in your hands and have still ended up screwed.  But even if there WEREN’T, what kind of an arrogant ass demands that we bow before you and be thine willing slaves before helping us? I don’t THINK you’re that kind of a God, if you exist. I mean that goes against my premises. At least that’s no notion of all Good that I can comprehend.

    Perhaps you are thinking well they didn’t ask for my help. Maybe you are bound to such rules that you can’t intervene unless asked. Maybe there’s a God above God that is REALLY all powerful who restricts your actions. Or maybe you had enough power to paradoxically restrict your own power to intervening only when asked thus enabling you to support free will or some such. Well in that case, I figure that if you need someone to ask you then I’ll ask you. Right now. Here goes.

    God. Would you please make my friends lives better? Make them happy. Make things work out for them. They can go through trials, I don’t mind that, but don’t give them such pain that they must suffer and hurt and cry so many times and for so many reasons. Just help them get through their problems. Help them find the means to help themselves. Help them create lives for themselves that they want. And while you’re at it, why don’t you do it for everyone else too? I mean seriously. Make the world work. Cuz it doesn’t right now. If you need someone to ask, I’m asking. I’m begging. Life sucks for so many people and you and I both KNOW it doesn’t have to be that way.

    I had other things I was going to say to you God but I’m getting tired of this letter already. I know you’re probably not going to listen. If I’m to believe the religions then I have to do a bunch of stupid stuff to get your aid, like bow down on my knees and fold my fingers, or promise not to curse, or have sex before marriage, or eat pork, or lie or cheat, or covet, or some such nonsense. Well I’m not going to promise any of those things. And not just because I think they are exceedingly DUMB things to promise to do. It’s rather a matter of principle. I won’t do any of those things and I won’t do anything else either in order to “earn” your aid. In fact I intend to do nothing different in bargain for your supposedly moral assistance. Rather I will simply attempt to lead as good a life as I can and do the things I think are right all the time. And that is what I assume you too would do God, and being a perfectly understanding, perfectly righteous entity yourself I imagine you understand that well.

    So… as long as we understand each other and agree on the fundamental nature of morality, we can say then that my whole writing this letter is a waste of both your time and mine. You will make everything work out for the best regardless of what I say or why and I’m just asking as a matter of useless historical ritual called “prayer” that has never had and never will have any meaning or effect.

    Therefore, I assert that you WILL make the lives of my friends better and the universe work better. And while you’re at it, I imagine you’ll make my life more fun and interesting too in the process and then all will be well.

    The only way this won’t happen is if you are not all good and you’re also a Jerk. And you think some nonsense like “free will” and “trial by fire” or crazy garbage like that.  If you believe that… well then I *demand* that you stop being such a jerk and help people anyway. Feel free to strike me down for my arrogance and hubris and prove how much of an asshole you are. I’ll continue yelling at you and demanding it even in my grave.

    And if you refuse even then, well then screw you. Step aside. Get out of the way. Go play with your toys or whatever it is that you do.

    I’ll find a way to save them all on my own.

  • Why Black People Vote Democrat

    I have heard many people, lead by certain talk radio and Fox News television hosts argue that the black vote has been swindled and stolen by the Democratic party. They argue that black people don’t know their history and don’t realize that it was Republicans and their hero Abraham Lincoln who freed the slaves and thus have their best interest at heart. They trumpet Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, and Clarence Thomas out as symbolic proof of the loyalty of the Republican party to black interests. And when a self-described black man is elected president they claim that it’s because black people are racist and just voted for a man who shared their skin color rather than examinining the issues at hand.

    Besides the obvious and rather sickening arrogance and disrespect for all African Americans represented in this perspective, it’s also just plain false.

    It is a very shallow reading of history that equates the Republican and Democratic parties of the Lincoln era with the parties as they exist today.  Most people are not that shallow. The composition and principles of both parties have shifted and altered many many times during the time between then and now to the point that there’s virtually no similarity between modern parties and those of that era.

    But even if there was an equivalency, the history is complex. During the Lincoln era the Democratic party was radically split. There was the Southern Democrats who supported primarily states rights and succession and the northern democrats who tended more toward Lincoln’s political stances. When Lincoln ran for re-election the northern democrats were even further split into Peace Democrats who wanted to reconcile with with the south and Pro-War Democrats who joined Lincoln’s National Union Party (note Lincoln had been a Republican but for several complicated reasons decided to run under a new party and bring in these Democrats)

    No. A much better argument that blacks ought to support Republicans would not be to use Lincoln but to use the Southern Democratic party which controlled the South for many years between liberation and the civil rights movement and instituted most of the “Jim Crow” laws that created segregation. Then again, the Republican party during that time period did little to stop these laws and largely showed ambivalence to the plight of black people. Still, black people, though disorganized, did tend to vote Republican in these days out of loyalty to the historically anti-slavery party.

    So how far does black loyalty to Democrats go? Well at *least* to 1964 and we can see it’s starting to arise as early as 1924. In 1924 there was a significant split in the Democratic party when party leadership tried to enact a resolution condemning the very powerful KKK during the Democratic National Convention. The resolution was narrowly defeated but this was the first signs of a deep and lasting split within the Democratic party centered around civil rights.

    In spite of the divide, FDR was able to keep the party unified under his New Deal Coalition. As a result the New Deal was a mixed bag as far blacks were concerned. While neither Republicans nor Democrats were willing to champion African American rights since they so desperately needed to court primarily Democratic votes that dominated the South, the new deal programs did provide economic advantages that helped improve the status of primarily poor black folks. In particular in enabled blacks to further their education albeit in a segregated fashion in the South.

    It was during the era of FDR that Democrats really started to be defined as the liberal party that they are known as today. Whereas before they had been the “states rights” party now they were for big government, large social programs in support of the poor and working class Americans and big regulation of industry. The very things Republicans deride the Democratic party for to this day.  But on civil rights social issues the party was still split pretty evenly. We can say honestly that during this period most people in power didn’t really think black people mattered enough to be worth courting.

    It was with Truman, a Democrat, in the late 40′s that support for civil rights first started to take center stage. Truman and many other leaders in the Democratic party supported civil rights to the point that he was willing to risk the New Deal coalition that had been so successful. He angered southern Democrats to the point that they broke away and created the Dixiecrats who tended to side with Republican conservatives in congress against Truman’s policies.  Many of these Dixiecrats ultimately became Republicans. It was this Conservative Coalition that blocked most attempts at social reform.

    Luckily the time came when black people were finally able to start getting organized and started to come together to collectively fight for civil rights. This is the beginning of what we’ve all read in our history books called the civil rights movement. Many prominent black leaders came to the forefront of history and groups such as the NAACP were founded.  And of course there was MLK. The newly organized black folks were not particularly loyal to EITHER party at the time, as you can see quite clearly if you read speaches and commentary of the era. They would support any candidate who would support their agenda of securing civil rights.

    And it was the Democratic party by and large that picked up the ball here. Black people don’t forget John F.Kennedy’s support for civil rights and his willingness to meet with Martin Luther King. They remember Kennedy sending federal marshalls to protect the Freedom Riders who were black and white civil rights activists from the north who rode south on busses to ensure that the court decision which outlawed segregation on public transportation would be abided by.

     Black folks don’t forget also the Johnson years where he was able to use the poliical capital spurred on by the national unity following Kennedy’s assassination to push through several major civil rights legislations, most notably the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act.

    Around the same time as black votes were strongly shifting toward the Democrats thanks to these advancements, Republicans very intentionally were courting the white conservative southerner vote. They were assisted in large part by Demographic shifts in the era. Namely the long lasting migration north-eastwardly of black folks in search of manufacturing sector jobs and to escape segregation and Klan violence of which my family was a part. And the simultaneous migration to fast growing southern cities of many white republicans. During this period the South became a bastion for the Republican party and the Republican party largely began to resemble the party that we know to this day.

    That’s the origins of black support for the Democratic party. The newly organized and united black vote tended to go united in the 90% range toward particular candidates. And usually the candidates were Democrats.

    This party loyalty remained not because black people have been hoodwinked but because the Democratic party has repeatedly made signiicant gestures to keep that loyalty. Jimmy Carter was the first President to employ very large numbers of women and minorities in the white house a tradition strongly continued by Clinton. Carter’s emphasis on education and social security, also two hallmarks of black interests at the time did not go unremarked.

    Clinton further supported the black agenda, actively campaigning for the black vote during his election bid even to the point that he’s been called with some especially obvious irony today, “the first black president”. Policy-wise his most effective legislation in terms of black interests were in support of gun control laws, another issue very near and dear to the black voter at the time considering the explosion of gun violence in primarily black inner city areas. His support for universal healthcare, although ultimately doomed to failure was also not unremarked.

    Clinton also did not stand in the way of affirmative action in spite of growing calls amongst Republicans to see it end and his vice president Gore campaigned strongly in favor of affirmative action when he ran for the presidency in 2000. The Republican rhetoric against affirmative action and pro-gun, anti-drugs, anti-welfare sounded increasingly antithetical to black interests at the time. Indeed I’ve personally spoken to many black people who see the republican party as having grown increasingly racist even as the rest of the country has become more tolerant. The publishing of the Bell Curve (which people read as asserting that black people are inherently less intelligent than whites) and the rise of conservative talk radio certainly did nothing to alleviate these fears. Nor did the tendency of said radio hosts to ridicule Jessie Jackson a man many black people regard as a civil rights hero.

    So in short if you are wondering why it is that the black vote goes in the 80-90% range pro-Democrat in recent years in spite of the fact that it was originally the Republican party that freed the slaves and the Democratic party that instituted Jim Crow the short short answer is that the black vote has unilaterally gone to the party that propelled their interest. And that has been the Democratic party. They have not, yet anyway, taken the black vote for granted. Though amongst black commentators there is significant concern that that may one day happen and so black leadership is always vocal and aggressive in ensuring that Democrats are well aware that their interests must also be represented.

    This is not to say that the republican party has never done anything that black people consider praiseworthy in recent years. Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice were significant advances for the black people that probably did play a part in paving the way for an Obama presidency. And most black people will acknowledge that these were all intelligent and capable people who deserved their appointments, even Clarence Thomas. They just disagree with their stance on many of the major issues that most black people consider paramount. Republicans also have room to make inroads into black support on a few social issues that garner support from the black community, such as to my great disappointment, the gay marriage issue. Lastly, if the recession deepens I strongly suspect a number of black leaders will start to preach the rhetoric of reduced spending and conspicuous consumption, and try to turn toward conservative fiscal policies. But by and large outside of these few areas, Republicans have shown very little interest or inclination in courting the black vote probably logically gambling that black voter turn out would in most elections be small enough relative to other voting blocks to be able to be sacrificed.. This, I think will prove to be a major mistake and already looks to be with the overwhelming Obama victory.

    Make no mistake the black voting block is unified and very well organized and focused on a few core issues. That’s why they vote together. It’s not racism. It has been that way at least since the 50′s and 60′s. And unless there is another large remarkable shift in party platforms it is likely to stay that for the foreseeable future.

  • Let’s do some redefining!

    Hey you there! Are you married? Oh you are?  Well for now on we’re going to call your marriage a Convenience Contract. That’s right. A Convenience Contract. Just yours. Everybody else’s marriage will still be a marriage, but YOU and only YOU will need to get your Convenience Contract license from the state, cuz your existing marriage contract will be null and void.  I’m sure you don’t mind. I mean it’s just words after all.

    Oh but if you’re black we’ll call your marriage a Negro Compact. If you’re asian: a Gook Union. If you’re arabic it’ll be a Terrorist Connection. If both you and your partner are under the age of 25 we’ll just call it Frivolous Pairing.  If it’s your second marriage we’ll call it a Pending Divorce. If you are a Democrat and your spouse is a Republican or vice versa we’ll call it a Domestic Violence Scenario. If you’re not married but only engaged, we’ll say not that you are engaged to be married but rather that you are awaiting an Inevitable Breakup.

    And if you and your partner are of different races or mixed or worse different religious persuasions we’ll just call it a Blargh.

    Of course all of these things, Convenience Contracts, Negro Compacts, Gook Unions, Terrorist Connections, Frivolous Pairings, Pending Divorces, Domestic Violence Scenarios, Inevitable Breakups, and Blarghs will ALL be accorded exactly the same right and privileges as Marriages. Except of course that any new laws or existing federal laws that apply to Marriage won’t apply to your Blargh or whatever unless explicitly stated or altered to do so.

    It’ll all be codified right there in our good old state Constitutions. This is necessary to protect the sanctity of Marriage. Surely you can understand how I feel about that right? I don’t want MY term Marriage sullied by being considered the same kind of thing as your convenience contract or blargh or whatever. They aren’t the same after all and this is absolutely necessary to protect our national culture. If we don’t it could lead to bestiality and devil worship and all kinds of horrible stuff.

    You get my point right? You understand don’t you? No hard feelings.  Right?

  • influence

    This post has absolutely nothing to do with politics, elections, current events, the media, race, sexual orientation, historic events, the economy, or anything of the kind. yaaayy!

    I’ve been thinking about myself as always, striving for self understanding and all that jazz, and it seems to me that I can conclude that I am the kind of person who strongly repels influence.

    Things that effect people, that might turn one’s mind, or cause someone to take interest in something are either pushed back or they slide off of me. They don’t really touch me. I literally can’t stand the thought of being manipulated or controlled and the only time I can tolerate being told what to do is when I can trick myself into thinking that the direction is also something that I personally want to do or was my idea in the first place.

    As a result I bulk pretty strongly negatively when faced with influential persons or people who have a lot of presence. And I react even worse when dealing with people in positions of authority over me or people in positions of power in general. Sometimes I can do a pretty good job of pretending like it doesn’t bother me, but deep down it does.  It’s not that I dislike these people, it’s just that I find myself very much ill at ease around them. It’s much harder for me to befriend a bossy person or stay friends with a judgmental one. And charismatic people are rarely able to sway me along their lines of thought or catch me up in their web.

    Usually when I hear somebody as described as someone that “everybody
    likes” or someone that “draws people in” I don’t get what they are
    saying. I don’t feel drawn in. In some cases I feel the opposite. I tend to shy away from the person who is the center of attention or the life of the party.

    I don’t know why, it’s just always been that way. When I was a kid I remember all kinds of things my parents would try and get me to do that I just didn’t want to do not because I didn’t think it was right and not because I didn’t want to do it, but because I simply did not want to do it because they told me to do it. Sometimes I would go to self destructive extremes to avoid feeling like I was being manipulated or foced into acting in a certain way even if it was for my own benefit. And it was even worse if they knew I was doing it because they told me. I would sneak about to try and do the thing without my parents knowledge even though my parents told me to do it, just so they wouldn’t know that I was doing what I was told. I hated following orders.

    Similarly I do extravagant things to avoid the sensation of being used or acting in accordance with other people’s wants. This is quite a tricky thing since I really like helping people. I just don’t like the sense that I am being obligated to help or expected to assist. If there’s no sense like that then I’ll do extraordinary measures to help someone but as soon as someone seems to be manipulating me, I stop. Unless of course I see some value in cotinuing to be perceived as “helping” even though in reality I am no longer doing the thing for the person whom I am helping’s sake.

    Anyways, lots of things that influence people don’t really effect me that much.  Like I never get when people say this scene or that image or that song makes them feel sad or happy. And I don’t get it when people say that being around negative people ruins their mood and makes them miserable. I mean I can sense a little of that kind of a thing, but it isn’t a strong influence on me. Just like people trying to get me to act or think or feel a certain way aren’t that strong of an influence on me.

    And with that I’ll abruptly end my random bout of self analysis. Because I’ve got nothing else to day.

  • The Cynic’s Guide to Elections

    People are just so cheerful and excited today. I feel like somebody should do something to dampen the mood.

    *puts on cynic hat*

    OK let’s just get one thing straight right from the beginning.  Your vote doesn’t mean crap.

    You’re just one person. You have but one vote. And the only time that one vote “makes a difference” is in the virtually impossible scenario of a tie. And even if there were a tie, there are soo many other inaccuracies in voting systems that the count will never be determined by a vote difference of one. It’s impossible. Rather the winner is decided by statistical likelihood not by a direct exact count. So forget about thinking your almighty vote will change the world.

    Your vote is NOT your voice. Your VOICE is your voice. You’re much more likely to have an impact by going around and talking to people or writing articles to the editorial section of newspapers (and writing blogs and forums posts) than you ever are by casting a vote. Heck since elections have become a matter of courts as much as they are the voting populace, if you really want to have a “voice” in the political process, you should become a lawyer and try to get votes counted or disqualified depending on your preference. That’s how to have a “voice”.

    And your vote means even less if you live in the Pacific time zone and don’t vote until after work. The election will probably be over by they. And god forbid you mailed in your vote late or cast a “provisional” ballot. You’re basically just wasting your damned time.

    Even if knowing all this you still resolve to vote out of some misguided sense of duty or responsibility (like I do), don’t be so sure you’ll be able to vote. Your state might have some absurd law you never heard of keeping you from voting. (such as strict identification laws or laws against former or currently serving criminals)  Your vote might hit a malfunction in the computer system. You might find your name mysteriously not on the roles even though you registered (because you miss-spelled something on your registration form or some such). You might freeze to death waiting in line for six hours to vote. Or more than likely once you realize you have to wait for six hours you’ll very rationally choose keeping your JOB over pulling some pointless lever.

    Presuppose in spite of all this you manage to cast your vote, you figure you should feel pretty damned good about yourself right? Wrong. Basically you wasted x hours of your life. Why? Because we have an insane “electoral college” system which basically means your vote doesn’t mean anything. Some random people actually cast the votes and although they are “supposed” to follow the will of the people who voted for them, namely you, there’s nothing binding them to that action. One day the electors from some state will most probably be drugged and start having visions of the end of the world and will randomly change their vote in a fit of madness. And it’d be totally legal.

    Even supposing these “electors” do as they are supposed to do, does that mean that the person who gets the most votes wins? NO! Rather we have this weird “point” system, where states are assigned points proportional to their population. That means it’s quite possible for one President to win the popular vote and STILL lose cuz they didn’t have enough “points”.  The only purpose this point system serves as far as I can tell is to make the election much more fun for the media. It’s like a great cool game for them to chat about. It’s big fun for the candidates too. They get to calculate and maneuver and have such fun doing it.

    The point system has other negative consequences too. Primarily it means candidates have to pay attention to places of relative insignificance just to earn points. It means that if you live in an area that is historically leaning toward one party or the other, you might as well not bother to vote cuz it’s pointless.

    It also means that certain states get far more attention than others and their voters end up more informed (or more brianwashed) than citizens of other states. Hence if you don’t live in a swing state, your vote is pointless. Go home. Be a free rider. It’ll turn out the same way anyway. And if you do live in a swing state, have fun being bombarded with an endless supply of lies on radio and television designed to manipulate you into casting your vote a certain way.

    Let’s say out of sheer stubborness you decide to take your time and make an informed decison and vote anyways.  So you set out to pick the candidate who most reflects your beliefs. First of all you’ll find a damnably hard time finding that candidate. Rather you’ll find candidates of two parties who share a remarkably large number of things in common. Neither has any radical proposals. Both tend to be pro-military, pro-business, pro-government spending, pro traiditional Christian values to some extent or another. Most have positions that seem rather remarkably carefully chosen to be in line with the average opinion of the populace as determined by polling. Funny that.  If your ideas are even a little bit outside of the mainstream, seriously just give up. 

    And even if one of these two candidates does *seem* to be agreeing with you, there’s no way you can determine whether or not he or she is lying to get elected. There’s absolutely NOTHING that prevents them from lying through their teeth about EVERYTHING. If you don’t believe that spend even one day perusing the fact check websites that proliferate the web. Lies. Lies. Lies. From both candidates. And worse from the activist groups that arise in “support” of the candidates from the major parties.

    Even if they aren’t intentionally lying about what they intend to do, hisotrically Presidents are RARELY able to keep their campaign promises. Because their promises are pie in the sky nonsense that you want to hear. They claim powers beyond the realms of mortal men. And powers that really lie in the hands of Congress and the Courts and the States and local governments, but that doesn’t keep them from promising. Then when they get in office they apologetically say they “tried” and quickly try to turn the blame on somebody else.

    In anyway case since Presidential politics depends on money much more than it does votes, he who has the most money and influence casts the most influencial vote. So if any promises are kept it’ll be those to the business lobbyists who basically paid for the candidate’s campaign. Campaign finance laws helped but not significantly. Basically businesses shell out money for advertising and various other forms of manipulation and voter “encouragement”. Do you think candidates don’t notice? That there’s no conflict of itnerest there? Of course there is! So really youd’ probably do better to analyze the companies behind each candidate and vote for the set of companies you like best. They’re the ones with the real power anyways.

    And don’t even THINK about voting for a third party candidate or worse a write in vote. You’ll be laughed at and scorned by anyone you tell. Not only will your vote have no chance of making a difference, but people will get pissed at you for taking AWAY a vote from their favorite candidate. And people get really pissed off about that. Seriously. If I voted for a third party candidate I’d be locking my doors and sleeping with a shotgun at my side on the night of the election. It’s risky business.

    Let’s face it.

    We are living in a DYSFUNCTIONAL, POORLY DESIGNED DEMOCRACY!

    If it can even be CALLED a Democracy. It’s more like a meritocracy or a plurocracy. Popular power does not exist. If your interests are ever taken care of it’s a matter of random luck rather than a direct result of anything YOU did. And people tell you to call your Congressman about every little thing as if a phone call will make all the difference in the world. Seriously. Give me a break!

    So tell me… why should anybody vote? Why should you participate in the political process at all?  Marginal advantage suggests you’ll be happier and your life will be easier if you DON’T vote. If people look at you with scorn for it, maybe you should just lie and say you did. It’s secret so nobody knows whether you are telling the truth. But that’s a heck of a lot easier than wasting all that time researching candidates and election voting laws and waiting in line to cast a vote that probably won’t be counted, that need not be listened to even if it is counted for a candidate who won’t do any of the things he said he’d do that made you decide to vote for him.

    Politics are nothing but a big money game played by people most probably much wealthier and better educated than you. Why should you care? If you don’t have the means to join in the game (as a lawayer, politicain, businessman, or journalist) , why should you even pay attention? It has nothing to do with you. Your life. Your job. Your happiness. If you think it does, you’re deluding yourself. If you think your vote will matter, you’re either stupid or mad or both.  Go home. Have a nice cup of hot cocoa. And laugh as the pointless election results roll in.

    And if people are so damnably stupid that they elect a monster as President vote with your feet and get the hell out of this country.