January 4, 2009
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Disconnect
Do you ever get tired of being so very connected to everything?
It sometimes seems to me like I am drowning in the connections. I feel bound by modern technology. Computer. Cell phone. IM. Email. Blogs. Facebook. Television. Radio. Cars. Even Wristwatches. Each of these things empower you so much that they restrict you.
You can’t say “you lost track of time” because you have a watch. You can’t say you can’t go somewhere because it’s too far since you can just drive or fly or take a Bus. A letter can be “lost in the mail” but an email never is. Read receipts if enabled even tell them whether you even read their letter. Through your IM status people can tell whether or not you are actively in front of your computer. Your various facebook status, your blog, your twitters and your imoods gives other people a constant insight into your current mood and feelings, your relationship status, and your very mental life itself.
And your cell phone… Oh the horror of it! It’s always there. Always taunting you. A text or a call or a voicemail or a paige or an IM or an email can now reach you anywhere at any time no matter what you are doing and you can’t escape! A constant permanent connection to everyone you know. They can ask you a question, engage you in conversation, check and see how you are doing, or wonder why you haven’t called them or contacted them when they know you have the power to reach you at any time day or night. And it’s not like you can say “I tried to call but no one answered” because they know whether or not you called and they always answer anyway. Because their cell phone is always there. Just like yours is. You are both bound by the curse of modern mobility and there is no escaping it.
Am I the only one that is bothered by this? It’s like technology takes away your ability to make excuses. It makes it impossible to isolate yourself. Impossible to have a moment of true quiet lost in your own thoughts. Impossible to feel at peace. Because you’re always virtually near others. Always surrounded by others. Caught up in the thoughts and thinking of others. Even when you’re all by yourself.
Even when you try to disconnect, you can’t. It just leads to people worrying and wondering about you. And then you get the questions. Why haven’t you updated your blog lately? Why haven’t you changed your facebook status? What’s going on? Why did you turn off your phone? Is something wrong? Are you ok? Endless questions. Texted to you. Emailed to you. Commented on your blog. Left in your voice mail. And that all in turn leads to your feeling a sense of guilt for making people worry and making them wonder. You feel like you are failing your obligation to connect with people and hurting people in the process.
But maybe we just want to disconnect. Just for a bit. A week. A month. A year maybe. Just disconnect. Remove ourselves from people and thoughts and wonder and wishes. To avoid the all seeing eye of technology. To remove yourself from the culture of constant connectivity. To feel unbound. To feel truly alone.
And be free. Disconnected.
Comments (108)
There are times we just need to disconnect. As much we want to be connected, I view our disconnect decision as a necessary time for us to recharge. We cannot always be “on” or available or happy-go-lucky. At least, and perhaps I should speak for myself, I cannot be all things all the time to all people. There are days one just needs to turn of all those gadgets off, not log in, not update. This time of the year also lends itself to an introspective journey. Disconnect in order reconnect if that makes sense. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time as well.
Happy New Year Nephyo!
I agree…technology gets annoying. like if you’re in the middle of doing something(that you can’t respondto a text,like washing dishes),and you get a text from someone,and when you finish the dishes(for example) and answer the text they get all P.O.ed at you,because you didn’t text them back. VERY VERY annoying.
I totally agree…it’s especially annoying when I’m at work and I see the cashiers texting while checking people out or when I’m trying to check drivers in and they are busy talking away. (On non related work busines.)
Excellent post. I flip flop with this all the time. I need to disconnect from everyone and everything. It can serve as a great healing source.
Happy New Year~
Ciao~
I guess I have trouble seeing it this way because I’ve had way too much alone time in my life… only child, chronic shyness, etc. When I lose my cell phone, I freak out. I couldn’t live without the ‘net.
Then again, I’m not being texted and emailed as often as you seem to be. And I haven’t been on AIM in ages.
I just got done disconnecting, and I’m over it.
Hey, I just voted for a couple of your Plugs ideas… the one that would let us use our profile pics by default, and the one that would resize our images for us. That last one is very important. When I try to resize an image to their teensy-weensy specifications, it comes out crummy. Plus, when I copy it to my clipboard, it won’t paste into a folder.
o_O
I have no idea why I can’t make it work. Anyway, yeah, Xanga should just resize those pics for us.
I know what you mean, but I have to say that I don’t really find this a problem. I think this is because overall I am a quiet person in public, and so when I do disappear, it is not really noticed. I think perhaps I would rather actually like to feel more connected. Anyway Happy New Year…
I feel the need to disconnect quite often. The thing is, if you just suddenly drop off the grid then people will freak out. But if you start a pattern of occassionally being AWOL people stop worrying. For me, it’s just setting boundries. If it’s an emergency I’ll be there in a heartbeat, but if not then I reserve the right to get back to turn off my phone and get back to you later.
This is one of the best blogs I’ve read in a while. I totally agree with you. I feel tied down too. What’s even worse is when no one tries to connect with you, even with so many options to do so. It’s quite depressing.
I think that natural connection is a good thing… connection to people (friends/family), connection to nature (seasons, cycles, the natural world), but that the world of man is largely unnatural and that is where the need to disconnect comes from. It’s not even entirely the connections in our world that are the problem, but the unnatural degree of proximity to one another. They’ve done experiments with rats (which are socially very like humans) and found that when overpopulation occurs, the rats go mad and turn on one another. That is what we have in our world now… 6 billion rats turning on each other. Either we reduce our numbers through awareness, or nature and our natural instincts will do it for us. Then there will be no reason to “disconnect” from our cancerous society.
Yeah I understand that feeling.. sometimes I just don’t answer… *hugs*
Gosh, I really wish I could disconnect sometimes, but your right, people start to think something is wrong, and try to contact you even more.
Great post
I know the feeling! My mom flips out if I go a week without calling her.
I refuse to disconect! I love life this way!
You have just inspired me to turn my phone off! Ha.
Excellent blog. Thank you. Everything you say is 100% true.
“toxic availability”
I agree… I’ve actually done it… Or attempted to…LOL
I was actually thinking about this today when I got a million text messages and emails and people sending me offline msgs on msn. I just want to be left alone and spend my Sunday evening alone so I can think. Is that so wrong? I’m tempted to change my cell phone number haha.
Yes please.
I shut my stuff off occasionally when it gets too be too much.
I wonder how can somebody disconnect themselves from time
my, i relate very much.
i’ve been away from church for a while now. and i don’t really hang out with any friends. i just need some time alone. some time to figure stuff out. but people keep contacting me. wanting to know whats wrong. acting like i’m going through some sort of crisis. assuming things they don’t know. its really frustrating. especially when its people i barely know!
and when i am very connected….for instance, i update my facebook status often. i’m very sick of being fake, acting like everything is okay…when its not. sick of putting on the happy face. i want to be real so i will say exactly what i’m going through whether good or bad. and usually it isn’t even that extreme. a simple comment like “i’m frustrated” cause people to constantly contact me asking whats wrong and worse, preaching at me about my “perspective” and how i need to change it. how i’m a drama queen and i need to just stop exaggerating and i need to look on the positive side. its SOOOO annoying. its like they are taking away my right to my own emotions. my own life. my thinking brain. it sucks.
with me though its a love hate relationship. i love some things about it. and i hate other things. and sometimes the same things that i love are the same things that i hate.
great post.
I can see what you mean, but I am plagued with loneliness. I can be around people 24/7 for quite a while before needing to run off. People just don’t seem to contact me unless they need something. I don’t know why.
@CarmenDeBizet - thanks. Happy Belated New Years to you too! Yeah I agree that disconnecting in order to recharge is helpful. This is particularly true of people who are more introverted since we tend to energize with privacy and connectivity inhibits that sense of privacy.
@zunky - yeah I’ve had that problem with just when I’m IMing people and have to step away from the computer but forget to change my status. It is annoying. Why should people automatically assume we’re always gonna be there?
@buckeyegirl31 - it’s kinda ridiculous when people feel so chained to technology that they can’t let go even to do their job or be polite to others. Why should your responsibility to the person you are texting exceed your resposibility to be polite to the real life people around you? I understand why they do it, but people in these situations need to learn to disconnect sometimes.
@getitwhenyoucan - happy belated new years to you! I also flip flop fairly frequently. I wrote this when the need to disconnect was prevalent in my mind but other times I feel just as strong a need to connect.
I don’t have at least part of that problem. I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t have any pressing need to get one, either.
Love the post. I go through phases where I turn my off and do not get online, unless I need to at work. It sometimes feels refreshing that nobody can find me if they want to.
I also deleted my Facebook and MySpace accounts, enough of that. Both are disasters in themselves. Too many nebby people out there always trying to get in your business.
I agree. Thank you for this. Sometimes it’s nice to shut down the computer, turn off your cell phone and just take off. At first it freaks people out, “How would I know if something happened to you? What if I really needed to get in touch with you?” You don’t answer your cell phone and they want to file a missing persons report. I think we’ve gotten so used to being able to contact somebody at the drop of a hat that we’ve forgotten how to be alone.
It’s kind of sad. We’re so focused on being connected to each other that we’ve lost touch with other important aspects of life.
Good post.
excellent post!
Ooh, I have never thought of all that connection.
my friends respect and trust me enough that they don’t freak if I turn off the phone or don’t update my facebook.
They know I’m basically fine and that I still care about them even when I don’t answer all the time. =)
But I know other people who have this problem.
nahhhhh
i get texts while i’m doing my homework, i have no problem simply answering it and telling the person that i can’t talk.
actually , i think technology isolates us further . we may be reachable at all times , but all of our connections are with / through machines . no more human contact . it’s quite depressing .
I agree completely. I have stopped answering calls and returning to texts if I don’t want to, and I am trying not to use the Internet as much in this new year. I would like to disconnect.
I used to be like that, but then I disconneted. Its cooler that way, I always see to people that my conversations are better face to face with me. It makes you more mysterious…
I feel like this ALL THE TIME. Especially when I’m trying to do something that requires concentration and then my phone goes off and I have to answer it. I get a text, ignore that one, get another, ignore, get a phone call and a voice mail.
It’s insane that people are using technology as a form of “closeness”. It’s as if they feel like they’re right next to you just because you’re texting back. So people think it’s okay to start having “sex” via text now. It’s sick.
I’d love to just, not have a phone, not have the net.
Stupid technology. I love/hate you. >.<
Great post.
A friend of mine has plans to spend the entire summer living out west with nothing but his cell phone for emergencies. Nothing… living off the land completely disconnected. I wish I had the guts to do that. This past week I was slightly disconnected, and it was great to not have to worry about anything. I was in Canada, so I couldn’t use my cell phone, I didn’t watch any TV, I didn’t see a computer the entire time. I just spent time with some good friends doing whatever the hell we felt like doing. I need that more often.
I felt this way for a long time, so you know what I did? I shut it all out. I put it on my facebook status that I was going to be out of contact for a week, and I turned off my internet (no AIM, no facebook), unplugged my tv and took the battery out of my phone. This way, people had to contact me the old fashioned way…come to my house. Which, I had warned them beforehand, I would not ansewr the doorbell.
I took a week out of my winter break to do absolutely nothing with technology and I was just by myself, chilling out, writing in my journal, reading books and magazines which I didn’t have time to do otherwise, and cooking and baking like crazy.
It was the most freeing week of my life.
i want to disconnect sometimes
I love being connected, but I wish I didn’t have to be connected in so many different places.
i loved this. thanks for writing it. =)
great post! i know exactly what you mean. it’s a good thing and a bad thing at times.
do it! disconnect! the most amazing way is to backpack. without a GPS, or a cell phone. take a watch. that’s all.
and until you can actually get away just ‘forget’ your cell. often. there is no reason you should be at the beck and call of whoever wants to get in touch with you. just, release it.
the words “i hate technology” come out of my mouth every day,
but i really just mean that i hate being connected.
PEOPLE is TECHNOLOGY, but the very essence of people is SELFISHNESS we ONLY and I really mean ONLY think about ourselves. I don’t know you, but you might ten to one be a selfish person yourself. Irrespective of myself, because I too think selfishly when I right this comment, because I THINK I have something useful to share. Connections are there for some to keep their profile strong or for others to get their jobs done. For everybody else who THINK they truly stand for something it’s actually their SELFISHNESS that speaks no matter in what kind of manner they try to portray their INNOCENCE, we are all GUILTY.
PS: Technology created who we are, there is no escaping, it would be like escaping your own being. Bill and all his affiliates might just be the people who brought us closer to total downfall.
Boy, you are so right! What an excellent entry. One of the very best that I have ever read. So true. You must disconnect for at least one day or two days sometimes! And say you need the rest.
There are others who feel as you do. Honest. Curse modern technology sometimes while at the same time marvelling at it. We should not become slaves to it and as an extention slaves to others with their often petty needs and wants as well as their boredoms that they dump on us.
Find that space and treasure it……even if it means ‘switching off’ whatever it is you need to ‘switch off’.
Good night.
I’m a bad connector. I never respond right away so many people disconnect from me before I do it to them
I did that for like 2 to 3 weeks when my grandpa suddenly passed away and me and my family had to go to Philippines,leaving U.S. I don’t know anyone in the Philippines around my age, only the oldies like aunts and uncles remember me and my siblings’s friends still remember me. Also, I couldn’t use my phone and the internet connection was only available if I go to the city. For 2 to 3 weeks, I wasn’t on the computer or on the phone. It felt great. It was amazing. I wanna go back there.
You should try travelling out of the country! Ah, so refreshing and the endless beauty of nature and cultures will amaze you.
=D
I can disconnect from everything.
except xanga. darn you xanga!
i went two months without a phone when i first started my freshmen year at college, and at first i thought it was a horrible existence. i thought i would be going crazy not knowing whose calling me or texting me or what im missing in the world, but that disconnection from the world turned out to be amazingly free. i stopped caring what everyone else was doing and went into MIA bliss. when i finally did get my phone back, i kept forgetting it everywhere and rarely ever check it now. but i think its better that way. i cant stand it when people cant let go of their electronics for even a day. especially in public transporation! read a newspaper damnit! haha :p
when i go on vacation i manage to turn my phone off for a day or two. it’s hard but i can do it. but then i miss it too much (sad, i know) & turn it back on. i agree with you.. people need to stop being so obsessed with technology !
“i agree”
“i tried to”
“NO WAY”
all of the above
the answers vary, obviously. there are those people who use technology only because its available and in some cases required. others use it because they feel its necessary/need it. others have it but dont use it. HOWEVER, technology isnt bad. it simplifies difficult things, and if used correctly, can help the earth [ex: solar pannels, magnetic pulley systems,etc] and the internet should be praised for now for it its the only unfiltered system of information around, as opposed to the radio and media.
BUT
i guess your just complaining that your too connected with people, via the phone and facebook and whatnot, where i’m speaking on a much larger scale. Theres a simple solution, turn the phone off after telling them your sick of all their concern. your fine damn it! if it be the case.
There are so many times that I want and need to disconnect, but I always have trouble doing it, because I’m always afraid I’m missing something important.
@ClockworkBunny - Honestly I would be driven insane if I didn’t have the internet. I spend most of my time online and yeah I’m texted and emailed and IMed quite often. And yet I know plenty of other people whose exposure to texts and IMs vastly dwarfs mine.
I just feel even though I wouldn’t give up my online life for the world, I need to get away from it sometimes. I hate it even as at the same time as I depend on it.
I’m glad you liked some of the plugz ideas! I kinda made myselt stop spamming the ideas forum. Now I only post a bunch every few days, though I’ve still got a ton more. Nothing will get implemented though unless someone likes an idea enough to plug it, but I refuse to spend my credits on that. It would have to be one helluva idea for me to do that. Still I’ll probably post another post listing all my ideas one day once I get around to it.
There’s no cell service where I live…=D
Oh the joys of living in the middle of nowhere.
@vineetabbott - i agree with you.
I actually like being connected to everything, and i think the more technology develops it will be even more easy to connect.
I dont have a problem being connected either. i guess it was never an issue.
Grab a backpack, only pack some food, water, string, tarp, knife, and flint, and hike far into the woods. Some times I do that with friends of mine. Dont bring your watch, cellphone, etc. Spend a day or two camping with some friends. You’ll be surprised how much happier you can be without any of the special technologies that we are so dependent on. I do this every now and then, and I love it.
@AvenueToTheReal - Me too actually. I wrote this around when I was getting over it finally.
@vineetabbott - I was pretty much the same way a while back. Nobody really noticed whether I was online or not. Except maybe the people on my job and that was a whole different kind of annoying. But after I moved away from home my family started to notice more and my old friends I moved away from and then I made new friends who were more connected and started spending more time online adn all that and now it’s really tiring. But still I’m a very private person in pubic so it’s taking some getting used to. You will probably like being more connected but make sure you give yourself time to adjust. Anyways, Happy New Years belatedly.
@elvesdoitbetter - That’s a pretty good strategy. Get people used to it, train them into a habit of accepting your absence. Yeah that could work. Sort of feels weird though like I’m treating my friends and family like pets to be trained to act according to my whim. ^_^
Actually, I’ve been in the habit of not answering my phone at all or responding to emails or any inquiries whatsoever for long periods of time for a while now. The problem isn’t so much people getting freaked out as people being annoyed at me I think. And more than that it’s just a personal sense of feeling like I’m disappointing people that makes me feel guilty about it far too often.
@supersteller - Thanks! And that’s exactly it. It’s a weird combination. Like the more your connections bother you the more likely you are to isolate yourself and then nobody wants to connect to you at all even though there’s lots of ways they can get to you. And that wasn’t what you wanted at all. At least that’s how it is for me. It is depressing.
agree.
rec. good post. i agree, technology has become too over powering to the point of being aggravating. i’ve tried to disconnect myself, but somehow peace isn’t the same anymore. without internet and my blackberry i think i would die just because i rely on it too much to let go. hopefully one day my “addiction” will somehow go away, i just wish. especially xanga – ah the horrors without it lol -_-
How about a dose of buddhism?
If you ever feel too connected well.. it takes a minute to change your voicemail to
“i’ll be back”
Great post nonetheless!
Turn off your phone, get off your computer all together, turn off the TV, and go for a bike ride. Or read a book. Or use a land line to call a friend and maybe just go out to lunch with them. Or draw/paint. Just because you have all that technology doesn’t mean you can’t just turn it off and walk away for a few hours, or even days. And, just to avoid conflict or have people bother you when you reconnect, maybe just send out a mass email that says “I’m shutting everything off to relax and de-stress, talk to you all in a week.”
If one is that perturbed by it why not turn the cell phone and the computer off. If people are worried tell them that you needed time away from everything. There’s nothing to say that you have to answer the phone, or check your email, face book, what ever.
i like this. i think ur right. i think i might go into seclusion.
I understand you completely! I also flip flop between this because I want to see my friends and yet I also need my alone time. Just keep in mind that you’re not obligated to return all your calls and you can always tell them you were busy. As flakey as that may be you have your own life off-line and I’m sure people will be understanding
Thsi is a great post-thanks for touching on this topic that I often think about. Speaking of disconnect, there is a guy who actually did it. There is a video out there called alone in the wilderness and this guy just pretty much said to heck with everything and moved out into the woods in alaska. Its a great movie-Its listed on amazon.
you are totally right.
i never realized how crazy attached people are to technology. i mean i realized we all liked it and it made our lives easier, but i never realized how we cna’t get away. how we’re never quite alone.
bravo. well said and written. it really does suck and is overwhelming. to get away i go to the park and bring a book and a blanket (when the weather is nice of course). sometimes i’ll even just leave my phone at home.
word. that’s a really interesting thought… it makes you feel bad that you haven;t talked to people when you can talk to them whenever via facebook, etc. :[
We could always just become Amish.
Turn off that cellular.
Uninstall that AIM.
ah~
disconnect (def): 1. the reason why my number has been changed twice in the past year 2. the reason why i turn off my phone and treat myself to a nice restaurant alone once a month with a good book 3. the reason why i forward my phone twice a year to funny rejection numbers 4. reason i dont have a blackberry 5. reason i cancelled my facebook, myspace, asianavenue 6. reason why ive started using two main emails instead of five
man…i cant keep keeping up with all this mess that i dont even really know what it means to me.
now why the heck i went premium on xanga after disconnecting all of those in the past months…i have noooooooooooooooo freaking clue!!! hahahahaha maybe im just looking for a semi-permanent connection
@supersteller - yeah it’s quite a bummer when people don’t even attempt to keep in touch.
I completely agree. It irritates me too. Technology is dominating our lives and most people are not complaining. I am slightly rebellious (or so I like to think). All the technology nowadays gives me a futuristic vision of a Utopian society.
Goodness me. Thank you for making this all come together. Such discussion has plagued my mind for a bit but never has been comprehensible enough to share. Our constant need to feel connected, or be attainable at any point, is exhausting and anxiety-inducing. It’s a sensory overload. Being too connected or too available electronically seems to breed a false sense of security, if that makes sense. Some connection with the outside world we don’t actually have, especially for those who are absorbed in their gadgets. It’s why I refuse to get texting or have IM on auto-start and instead go outside or read or play music or actually communicate face-to-face or something to counteract the seemingly never-ending invasion of technology. It just seems people have become too dependent on technological communications that actual tangible person to person interaction diminishes. Hmm, I really have no idea where this was going. Fantastic post though. Kudos.
yep, that’s why i like vacations outside the country.. can’t use my phone. if i want to connect to people i have to pay for internet so i can always make the excuse that i was too cheap to pay for it
Occasionally, I turn off my phone or just don’t check my emails for awhile. For the most part though, I like feeling connected. Its keeps the loneliness at bay.
Have you seen the episode of The Cho Show in which Margaret goes “off the grid”? Sooo funny!
I haven’t heard such truer words in a very long time.
SO true. Every year i work at a camp out in the middle of the forest, where i have very limited access to a computer, barely get cell phone reception, and am not allowed to use a bunch of electronic gizmos unless i’m not around the kids (aka, my rare break). Even though i’m busy working, it’s SO nice to be away from it all. You think that it’ll be tough to live without being able to check up on stuff for an entire week or more…but it’s really not at all. It can be refreshing to spend hours outside instead of stuck in front of the comp or a video game. Though i admit, i still have my digital watch. It’s a problem if you don’t know the time there!
Yes, that’s quite understandble.
To disconnect, join the peace corps.
Leave a fair warning.
Hello World, I’m going on a connection haitus. It is time that I require some time and space which to recollect my thoughts and ideas and goals and to feel completely unattached to my surroundings. I’m going to clip my bonds from this world momentarily and get back in touch with my sanity. So leave messages if you like, text, email whatever you wish, but I’ll be gone, only to be back so soon.
I do this every once in a while,
But unjustly so.
I never leave warning.
I disappear.
Just recently I stopped texting friends, not going anywhere with company, refrained from using the computer and just slept and watched movies and drew and painted, read and played.
I disconnected to reconnect more peacfully.
I make a habit of it, and when I disappear people get the hint, “she’s gone…we’ll wait til she comes back.” But don’t leave when something tragic happens or people really will begin to wonder!!!
I hardly check my myspace, I don’t use my facebook, I turn off my phone when I don’t want to talk. You have to learn to work with it. If it gets to a point where it’s tottaly annoying, slowly take it out of your life.
@PiscesPhishie - Exactly! That’s what I mean! Do it enough and they will get used to it and know your taking a break without freaking out. I’m going to have to use your away message for future use! = D
Wow I didn’t think anyone else felt this way. I purposely have been leaving my cell phone off lately all day because i’m tired of phone calls, voicemails, and texts. I know that sounds weird kind of but I kind of wish I could just go back to my childhood in the 90s. Before everybody had cell phones, facebook/myspace/twitter, and and all these other crazy forms of communication. Sometimes I wanna just shut it all off. Go sit somewhere quiet where people can only talk to you directly.
Technology is a disruption. You can’t even hold a normal conversation with someone anymore it seems like without someone calling their cell phone at the exact wrong moment as you are trying to say something to them.
A getaway vacation on a quiet island somewhere with no internet or cell phone connection sounds good!
one befint of living a rather anonymous life – no one really badgers you with emails, IMs, text messages or phone calls, and it makes it so much simpler to hit the “off” button too….
Seriously. I struggle with this debate all the time. This happened to me today, my phone’s battery ran out of energy, and I found it to be a crisis that I wouldn’t be able to tell what time it was in class…I tried to stay off the computer today, but since everyone else is so involved I would have missed out on important informationt that I need for class tomorrow. I definately need to withdraw some more so it won’t be such an issue in the future. Amazing post.
Considering my cell phone is officially broken (something I rarely use in the first place), I need more connectivity. All I have now is this computer, and I guess my wrist watch. I have no cable, so my TV will be gone in a month. Driving? No license. Bus? Against wasting money. I walk or ride my bike, which I hate at my age, because I have a little too much pride in that area. But also because it’s a hassle to wake up earlier to do things. Messages I get? Hardly any, really. I’m glad my phone’s broken though, because I hate texts so much. They’re almost pointless. It’s a pain during holidays too, especially when Christmas and New Years passed by and all you get are chain-mail or “cookie cutter” texts. I’m not a festive celebrator and find it rude that so many people text me. I mean, what if that cost me money? (yes, a greedy thought, but consider the economic times). Now imagine the millions of texts other people get because they like to K.I.T. only to receive these texts, with no heart-felt meaning behind it. Yes, the few connections I have are irksome, but . . . I’m already living a disconnected life as it is.
I used to be a very disconnected and unsocial person. Lately, I’ve connected to many people and it has become too much. Right now, I want to get away from it, but I know it’s impossible to do so. I’ll find some way to always come back.
Honestly, this is a great post. I feel this way all the time. Sometimes I really yearn for it, sometimes I wish I could destroy my phone and my computer.
Every once in a while I just shut down, sit, relax, and think alone. Helps. Even if only for one night.
Huzzah.
Do you want to save yourself ?
I have many airsoft Gun /Combat gear
i tried disconnecting when my cell phone broke. needless to say, it didn’t work. i was constantly on the computer because i hate not being connected – when i went to morocco three or four summers ago and was disconnected from my cell phone service and the internet i thought i was going to die from lack of information. i just can’t do it.
i totally understand you and want the same thing.. some “alone” time without feeling guilty about disappearing for a while.
great post! thanks =)
@harmony0stars - wow that’s a dark thought. I hope you are wrong. Honestly though I don’t think humanity is near to that level of overpopulation yet in most places and even in our most dense societies we haven’t seen whole scale madness erupt. Perhaps this is a testament to the strength of our laws and traditions, or perhaps we just haven’t been living this way long enough. What seems more likely to me is that chaos will erupt due to competition over scarce resources, most notably fresh water and oil.
But anyway more to the point I think things created by man are as much a part of nature as things that arose throughout history, since we are a part of nature. It’s just natural stuff that developed more quickly and possibly too quickly. The ecosystem is a powerful testing environment for new things when given enough time, but humanity leap frogs the process by augmenting ourselves through technology.
I agree with your basic premise though, this level of connectivity is not something the human species is used to as it has never existed before in history. Whether or not we are genetically well adapted to it remains to be seen.
your blog makes so much sense to me right now ..
all I want to do right now is shut myself fro the world and just think about me and it should be me and my own thoughts .. I’m usually a person who is in high regard of the connection but I just want a break for it all for just one brief second to be able to breathe
@jewelianna2008 - nope, not wrong at all in my book. It’s almost a paradox though that people always seem to bug you the most on the days when you most want to be left alone.
@Jonathan - There are times when I love life this way too actually. But I can’t live this way all the time.
@Xx_Kittt_xX - Yup I have a love hate relationship with connectivity like you. It’s like we all are getting so connected that we know too much about each other, but the knowledge is shallow. How much can a pulse or facebook status really say about us? I’ve experienced lots of misunderstandings as a result of that. It’s part of what makes it so tiring.
@The44thHour - I am plagued with loneliness but being around people 24/7 sometimes just intensifies the feeling for me. The sense of being around people but not really connecting to them feels worse than just not being bothered by people. And when people contact me primarily cuz they need something from me or because they feel an obligation to do so out of guilt for the assistance I have given them, that only makes me want to disconnect more.
maybe you should stop paying all your bills, then you would be disconnected. OR you could move to a deserted area. OR you could just not have a cellphone/computer
@nephyo - As a whole, we might be considered sane in so far as statistics are concerned, but if you look at individuals, look at you and me… well I doubt either one of us would pass. We’re just not dangerous crazy.
Actually, I think that you and I are more sane than the average person because we have not stopped asking these difficult questions and are still trying to improve ourselves. The average person just follows along and does and thinks what they are told.
Also, look at our overflowing prisons. The rise of criminal action might also be considered a form of insanity because it opposes the collective law by which humanity keeps the peace. Beyond the occassional riot (which we have seen in the past decade), I doubt humanity is going to go mad all at once. There won’t be an epidemic of madness (like The Happening) unless you want to consider crime the epidemic (which would just be semantics), but if we look at society and individuals, we are far from well… as your post illustrates.You point at technology as the problem, but in fact, it is the impending collapse of our social system because of our inability to adapt to changing social pressures from a variety of issues including technology that is the problem. I’m not going to become a luddite… I love my computer, but we are not a healthy race and unless we are willing to make some pretty extreme changes to the way in which we live, in a few generations the $h17 may really hit the fan.
I agree there are times when we just need to disconnect from everything and everybody, but you’re lucky to have so many people who are concerned about you and care for you.
I constantly disconnect myself. I’m a big alone time person. I need my space.
Yeah, okay, so we stop all this technology connectivity for a while. Then what? Go back?
Face it, our Facebook accounts are waiting for us. OUr friends are waiting for us to text them. Aim is still around. It ain’t gonna happen.
And just as we beg for release, Brian Gilman introduces the Macbook Wheel to the joy of both techies and lazy Americans that rejoice at the thought of having a laptop that controls everything with a big, simple, giant button.
Ironically enough, that button is also the nail on the coffin to our lethargy.
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
I totally know what you mean.
I am always connected. ALWAYS! I’m on facebook everyday and I have my mobile on me all the time pretty much.
I mean I even had withdrawal symptoms from the Internet when I went on holiday to Singapore. I should have ben enjoying my holiday not worrying whether I had notifications on facebook or not!!!
nope, but it’s probably because i’m not completely connected.
haha those “read receipts” are tricky. my school email had that option, but there was another option called “mark as read.” if you clicked on that before you opened the email, the sender wouldn’t know when/if you received the email.
EXCELLENT POST!!!!!!!
If you want to disconnect…all you have to do is disconnect. It’s all up to you buddy.
I totally agree with you.
You should read Thoreau’s book “Walden” — it talks a lot about life without technology and is really eye-opening
I do disconnect, all the time. It’s rather nice, I suggest everyone try it out.
I agree with you. As much as I love the ability to communicate with people when I want to, I hate that they can communicate with me when I don’t want to. I often feel trapped by things like my cell phone. There’s no escape. People can bombard me with their needs everywhere I go.
i agree! i was just telling my friends recently about how i hate how much hype the technology is these days. it never ends honestly. i do wish that we all had the ability to disconnect without it being a huge deal. its not that i dont like to be around my friends or family or keep in touch with them, i’d just like to have some me time sometimes without all the mess. technology also makes me feel really bad because its so big in this day and age and people on the other side of the world dont necessarily have the advantages (or this case somewhat disadvantages) that we have. they dont even have the option to “disconnect” because they already are disconnected. maybe they are the lucky ones.
I disconnected. No Facebook, Flickr, cell phone (I have one for emergencies but I don’t know it’s number). AIM/MSN messenger once or twice a week to my closest friend, who lives a state away. No online subscriptions. I choose the t.v. that I watch via YouTube or buying boxed sets. No World of Warcraft or other online games.
I know that these changes make me an isolated hermit in the modern world, but I felt like it prevents me from feeling overwhelmed by information/stimuli overloard. I can peacefully drift and casually choose when to interact with my friends instead of feeling suffocated like my life is an open book for the whole world to see.
It’s like reverting back to a lifestyle 10 years ago. Basic email and some blogging are my limits.
wow this is so late but…
O.O;this is how i feel EXACTLY. the guilt of trying to disconnect!