April 11, 2010
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ten
On Pairings in Language
I think every sibling pair close in age or set of close friends has experiences a phenomenon of language I call "Pairing". Pairing is when two peoples names are always spoken together as if they were one in the same entity. It happens sometimes too with coworkers, cousins around the same age, roommates, married couples, and people in a close relationship. And of course it's probably the worst for twins.
Pairing can be one of the most frustrating things in the world to experience. When you're "paired" it feels like part of your identity is being disregarded. In effect the differences between you and the person you are paired with are disintegrated leaving only the aspects that make you the same. It seems to build up too. The more you are referred to as a "pair" the more it happens and the more your distinctions start to rub away and disappear.
The other major problem with pairing is its often used to reduce not just the uniqueness of the entities within the pair but the uniqueness of the pair itself on a whole. For example people will say things like "people like PersonA&PersonB" as in "siblings like Jennifer&Bob" or "couples like LeAnn&Sally". When that formulation is used the implication is that the pair is just symbolic for the vast majority of people who are exactly the same and in no way unique.
This latter phenomenon often happens when someone wants to make a generalization about others. In order to do that you always need at least two examples in order to be deemed credible. If you only had one example people would call you out and say "Maybe there AREN'T any other people like that!" So they use two people and refer to them together as if to suggest that there are tons and tons of examples and the speaker just happened to pick these two.
In television news discussions you hear it. People will say MSNBC shows like KeithOlbermannAndRachelMaddow. All together just like that as if they were one and the same thing. Never mind that their shows are very very different and nevermind that there are no other shows on MSNBC that are anywhere close to as left wing as those two. Likewise on the right you'll hear SeanHannityAndGlennBeck when discussing Fox News shows. And you'll hear RushLimbaughAndGlennBeck when discussing right wing radio hosts. Always altogether even though all three of those people are very very different. It's entirely possible for a person to be a fan of one or two of those and not the other.
Pairing phenomena happens with lots of other things that aren't people too. Like people will say "Movies like 300AndGladiator" or "Comic Book Movies ike X-MenAndSpiderMen" or "Video games like FinalFantasyAndDragonQuest" And so on and so forth.
Pairing is very lazy language usage. It's convenient and easy but creates rather apparent distortions in understanding. It's easier though for people to use a pairing to imply more than they are willing to say then to take the time out to speak about each entity individual. This is especially true when discussing the individuals would detract from the overall theme or intent of the writing or speech at hand.
Still, I'd rather people pause before pairing things up in their mind just a bit more, ESPECIALLY if it's people. Though your subject is unlikely to complain outwardly, it's highly likely that a person paired is secretly just a bit annoyed by being lumped together with someone else and not treated as a unique individual.
However, if you have some deep urge to really annoy someone, start pairing them up in your speech with someone completely different from them. Best of all make it someone they really don't like very much. Keep doing it over and over again and watch how long it lasts before they can't take it anymore and explode with anger. It'd be especially funny if they explode while the other person is present.
Though be warned, the resulting fight between the three of you might not be particularly pleasant. Still it could be an experiment worth trying once if you are really bored and don't mind toying with the emotions of those entities you call friends.
Otherwise stop pairing people up dammit! We're individuals!
Comments (3)
I don't know what you mean. Everyone likes SeedSowerandDearRicky.
I've done that. I have a real Dad and a step Dad. I used to say "Dad" when I was talking to my friends meaning both of them at once. I thought I was being clever. Then I said I called my step Dad "Dad" when I never have to him, just his name.
I hate pairings. People really should pause before saying something like Nephyo/buckeyegirl31.
(j/k) My younger sisters are close in age and were always paired together. People always say there names as if they are one. It drove all of us nuts.
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