April 12, 2010

• twelve

  I read too many fantasy and fiction books. As a result many times when I am tired and in my cynicism I start to fear that people I care about are under attack. I imagine that there are forces beyond my control, malevolent forces, trying to hurt the people I care about. Sometimes they are people, just like you and me, only full of irrational hate that leads them to hurt without remorse. Other times they are beyond human and either do not understand the harm they are causing or revel in it. Most often though, I don't know why they do the things that they do. My imagination does not run that deep. I just feel that they are.  And it bothers me. It angers me I would use all that I can to will those forces away and end the harm they are causing. I will find a way to fight them.

  But then I wake up from my dark daydreams and remember that the world is mostly much simpler. Things just happen. Sometimes those things are bad. Sometimes they are good. But there is always, always a logical explanation. And almost always it's the simplest explanation that works best. No mystical supernatural beyond normal unnatural forces. There's just us. We're bad enough.

  Still, ever in the back of my mind a million other paranoia driven possibilities forever reside. But in all worlds real and imaginary the one truth remains. That there is a need to believe in others and to fight to make them better.

  • 11:09 pm
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