October 10, 2007
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Perfect Form
Is there a pure perfect form of yourself waiting for you far off in the distance?
Look down that long corridor of life. Stare down that winding road of
experience. Do you see him? There. Toward the back. There he is. Right
there. Waiting for you. Perfect you.What does he look like? This you of the future? He is still you. Has
your same traits, your same strengths and weaknesses. He has your same
beliefs for the most part save where experience lead him to different
conclusions. He thinks like you think now. He dreams like you dream
now. He cares like you care now. He wants like you want now. Only,
this you… has it all. All the things that he wants. All the things
you ever wanted.
Wondrous You. Glorious You.Perhaps he has a job, a career I should say, so incredible that he
can’t wait to wake up in the morning to go do it. He spends his time
all the time doing only the things he loves and wants most to do and
never once does he find himself assigned a task that does not suit him.
Everything he does feels important to him. Essential. His work is
changing the world for the better, fixing the problems that always most
deeply concerned him. His coworkers are all close friends whom he loves
and cherishes and who all have an enormous amount of respect and
appreciation for him only surpassed by the extraordinary amount of
respect that he has for all of them. The work life he leads is one of
purpose mixed with pleasure.And through his work, this perfect you achieves a modicum of fame and
respect amongst the circles of people who do these things. This you is
seen a significant force, a person to be respected. A creative mind. A
genius. A person whose opinions matter and are not to be taken lightly.
He has influence. He has money. He has power. Not too much to be
stifling or to corrupt, but enough so that he never feels the least bit
insignificant.
Max level You. Fully equipped You.Maybe his work life is only surpassed by his life outside of work. He
has money enough to be secure. He travels the world seeing things he
always wanted to see. He has time to play and do all of the fun things
he most loves to do and to try new things he always wanted to try.He looks about the world as if it were built just for him. He sees
everything about him and sees how it fits right into his own life
making it all the more perfect. This you never looks back and wonders
and wishes about things left
undone, experiences he never had and might wish to one day do. This
you, just lives, every moment of every day as a joyous adventure and
loves every minute of it.
You 2.0. You The Next Generation.Perhaps he looks around himself and sees only love. Family. Friends. A
huge and incredible support network that is always there for him and
for whom he is always there for. He never lets them down. Never
disappoints. He is close to them and they to him and they all share
hundreds of meaningful experiences, thousands of memories that each
illuminate the present in a comforting pleasant light.Perhaps this perfect you has to his shock and awe somehow found a
significant other who is in his eyes in every way far more perfect than
he is. And he has children that are even more perfect still. He
cherishes every moment with them more than life itself. And he lives
and strives for their sake even more than he lives for himself.
Fearless You. Unstoppable You.Maybe this you has reached a point where he feels no pain. No sorrow. No fear. No anger. No doubt.
No shame.
Not anymore.
He’s gotten beyond feelings of inadequacy and shyness. He’s fully cast
aside any sense of uncertainty and has resolved and come to terms with
all of his past regrets and made amends for all of his past mistakes.
His life is his own now. He knows it inside and out and loves it with
ever ounce of his being.When problems arise this you handles them with confidence and pride. He
helps people. He helps himself. He turns aside the criticism of others
and finds a way to make them relate to him, to understand him, and to
believe in him. He deals with people, enemies and allies alike as if
they were important and worthy of his regard and garners in even the
most despicable of villains a certain degree of grudging respect and
admiration.All this he does with an elegant ease and simplicity of focus that it
seems like the most natural thing in the world. He never panics. He
never stresses. To him it all just works. It all makes sense. It is
right. All just right. The way the world should be.
Super You. You the Hero.Where are you with respect to this perfect you? Is he just a couple of
steps away? Just a few more small hurdles to pass, a few hangups to get
over before you are living the perfect life?And maybe you think, well that’s ok. This is close enough. That I’ve
done this much is enough. If I can move a little closer than all the
better, but even if I make it no further. It’s enough. I’m satisfied.Or perhaps instead those last few steps truly haunt you. Those are the
things you need the most. Do you hate yourself for having obtained so
much but you can’t seem to pass those last few all so important hurdles
between yourself as you are and as you wish to be?Or is the perfect you instead so far away that you can’t even see him,
some insubstantial blurry lines at the end of the corridor that you
can’t even imagine is real or could ever really be. Do you strive to
get there? Are you running with all your might and all your strength
but he never comes into focus? You can never see him, and you just
can’t tell if you are even running in the right direction.Or do you turn your back on him. Does perfect you hold no allure for
you? Do you embrace the sorrow and sadness and hardships of life for
its own sake? Do you want to hurt and live to suffer? Do you relish
what you can learn from the heart of darkness? Do you seek it with
reckless abandon? Do you feel his eyes staring at the back of your head
with sadness and pity as you walk determinedly away from him ready to
embrace a life that with bring you only pain and sadness and endless
regrets.Or perhaps you are like me. You see him. He’s right there, reaching out to me.
Hurry.
I hear him. His eyes are filled with such sadness but also
understanding. He knows my doubts and my fears because they were his
doubts. They were his fears once upon a time and he understands them.
All too well. He knows just how hard it is to move forward and yet
still he beckons me urgently. Urgently.Hurry. Hurry.
I can’t though. I don’t move forward. I can’t find the will or the
motivation to do so. I think, what is the value of perfection? Is that
all there is to it? I wonder if this future vision is but an illusion,
a fanciful dream of a mind that cannot accept reality as it is. Can
there really be a point where you get all the things that you ever
dreamed? And if you ever reached it, somehow, magically, would it even
be Good. Would it even be fair? What about all of those other people
who couldn’t, who you couldn’t help and who still suffer and hurt and
want for more.I say these things to perfect me but he doesn’t seem to hear me. He just keeps calling me.
Hurry. Hurry up and become me.
But what if I get there and I find… that it isn’t enough. That all my
dreams being fulfilled still leads me feeling empty, still wondering
about the purpose of this life. Why do I exist? Why do I matter? What
if in the end, having done everything and achieved everything, still I
find that most important thing of all missing from my life… happiness.He’s still there calling out for me.
Don’t be afraid.
You can do it.
It’ll be ok.
Hurry.
Become me… Become me… Become me…
But my footsteps slow and his voice fades from my ears. Perfect me
just seems like an empty shell now. No. More like a suit of clothing I
can adorn at some point in the future if I so choose but which is in
itself not really a part of me. It isn’t enough to simply obtain it.
Not for me. I don’t walk toward that any more. I stop. I think. And I
try ever more to understand this me. Here and now. Flawed. Imperfect.
Filled with wants and needs. That’s the me I care about. That’s the me
that matters to me.Because in the end, what is the point of trying to obtain this perfect
form of you, unless you can find a way to first at least accept a you
that is far from perfect?
